Rachel Berry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
starsaremything) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sirenspull_logs2012-03-18 12:08 am
starsaremything) wrote in sirenspull_logs2012-03-18 12:08 am
Entry tags:
[closed]
Who: Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson
When: 3/17
Where: Rachel and Kurt's apartment
Summary: Rachel's going to stop being a coward and talk to Finn about her death.
Warnings: Talking about death here.
So maybe Rachel had been avoiding Finn a little bit since the day after she'd come back. It wasn't that she was a coward (or, well, maybe she was a little bit of a coward), it was more that she just... didn't want to talk. Maybe that was a little unusual for her (or a lot unusual, since she usually took a great deal of pleasure from having people pay attention to the things that she says), but she wasn't sure what else to do. It was hard to see Finn in this place looking the same as he had the last time she'd been there, when she could see him-- heard him asking her to marry him every time that she closed her eyes or stopped thinking for a moment.
She hadn't even been able to give Finn any kind of answer back home. To be completely honest, that was a little bit of a relief. She had no idea what to say, not when he was looking at her with those... Finn eyes. She loved him... she didn't doubt that, but she wasn't sure if that meant she was ready to be married.
Regardless, it wasn't the reason that she'd been avoiding him. Or... it was a little bit, but it wasn't the only reason she'd been avoiding him. No, that had a lot more to do with the fact that for some reason-- some reason that she didn't know or understand, Finn had no idea that she'd died. It was weird, because when she'd asked Kurt, he'd told her that him and Finn had had a whole conversation about it. Or something like that. She didn't really know how people had conversations like that. In fact, the whole idea of people talking about her being dead was pretty creepy.
Kind of nice to know that they did miss her, just like she'd always thought that they would, but still... yeah, pretty much creepy. She didn't have anymore plans to die until she had written a dozen books and had starred in as many performances as he body would let her. She didn't see anything glamourous or cool in dying as a boring teenager again. Rachel really didn't even see anything good about dying ever. It might be good for her career back home, but she could still feel how searingly hot and then painfully cold she'd been when she had been killed that first time.
It didn't take more than a half a second of thinking about it for Rachel to remember how afraid she'd been. How hard it had been to breathe, she'd been so scared. It wasn't like anything she'd ever seen in the movies, not when she'd frozen in place and not even understood what had happened to her. She hasn't sure that she would have ever wanted to know what was happening. Not even when that sick feeling of surprise and fear and just knowing crept up on her.
Rachel didn't really want to know any of the details, but Finn-- Finn should have been asking her about it, and maybe... it was so hard to sleep now, alone in her bed when everything was dark and it had been so dark then, too, and she wanted more than anything to talk to Finn, to ask him to stay with her, if they can still move in together so that she doesn't have to be alone.
She hadn't ever been really good at being brave for the sake of being brave, had never really needed do that, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to do it now. Finn had to want to know, didn't he? It only made sense, he was a curious kind of guy. That's one of about a million reasons that she was so in love with him.
There really hadn't been any other option than to invite Finn over for the night, too. She knew that she wasn't sleeping very well and that it was obvious on her face and her voice had cracked a couple of times at work and that was something that she had to fix.
She had to talk to Finn, and that's why she was sitting on the couch waiting for him, experiencing again that sense of deja vu. This time she had a hot cup of tea, and hot water on the stove if Finn wanted some, too.
When: 3/17
Where: Rachel and Kurt's apartment
Summary: Rachel's going to stop being a coward and talk to Finn about her death.
Warnings: Talking about death here.
So maybe Rachel had been avoiding Finn a little bit since the day after she'd come back. It wasn't that she was a coward (or, well, maybe she was a little bit of a coward), it was more that she just... didn't want to talk. Maybe that was a little unusual for her (or a lot unusual, since she usually took a great deal of pleasure from having people pay attention to the things that she says), but she wasn't sure what else to do. It was hard to see Finn in this place looking the same as he had the last time she'd been there, when she could see him-- heard him asking her to marry him every time that she closed her eyes or stopped thinking for a moment.
She hadn't even been able to give Finn any kind of answer back home. To be completely honest, that was a little bit of a relief. She had no idea what to say, not when he was looking at her with those... Finn eyes. She loved him... she didn't doubt that, but she wasn't sure if that meant she was ready to be married.
Regardless, it wasn't the reason that she'd been avoiding him. Or... it was a little bit, but it wasn't the only reason she'd been avoiding him. No, that had a lot more to do with the fact that for some reason-- some reason that she didn't know or understand, Finn had no idea that she'd died. It was weird, because when she'd asked Kurt, he'd told her that him and Finn had had a whole conversation about it. Or something like that. She didn't really know how people had conversations like that. In fact, the whole idea of people talking about her being dead was pretty creepy.
Kind of nice to know that they did miss her, just like she'd always thought that they would, but still... yeah, pretty much creepy. She didn't have anymore plans to die until she had written a dozen books and had starred in as many performances as he body would let her. She didn't see anything glamourous or cool in dying as a boring teenager again. Rachel really didn't even see anything good about dying ever. It might be good for her career back home, but she could still feel how searingly hot and then painfully cold she'd been when she had been killed that first time.
It didn't take more than a half a second of thinking about it for Rachel to remember how afraid she'd been. How hard it had been to breathe, she'd been so scared. It wasn't like anything she'd ever seen in the movies, not when she'd frozen in place and not even understood what had happened to her. She hasn't sure that she would have ever wanted to know what was happening. Not even when that sick feeling of surprise and fear and just knowing crept up on her.
Rachel didn't really want to know any of the details, but Finn-- Finn should have been asking her about it, and maybe... it was so hard to sleep now, alone in her bed when everything was dark and it had been so dark then, too, and she wanted more than anything to talk to Finn, to ask him to stay with her, if they can still move in together so that she doesn't have to be alone.
She hadn't ever been really good at being brave for the sake of being brave, had never really needed do that, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to do it now. Finn had to want to know, didn't he? It only made sense, he was a curious kind of guy. That's one of about a million reasons that she was so in love with him.
There really hadn't been any other option than to invite Finn over for the night, too. She knew that she wasn't sleeping very well and that it was obvious on her face and her voice had cracked a couple of times at work and that was something that she had to fix.
She had to talk to Finn, and that's why she was sitting on the couch waiting for him, experiencing again that sense of deja vu. This time she had a hot cup of tea, and hot water on the stove if Finn wanted some, too.