sirenspull_logs | there was nothing to be done

Who: Gilbert Nightray and Oz Vessalius
When: The morning of the 13th
Where: The newcomer memorial
Summary: It's time for master and servant to learn how to grieve.
Warnings: Talk of death, spoilers for PH.

First it was Alice. She hadn't come down for breakfast that morning, hadn't shown her face for the rest of the day. Her NV had been disconnected. A search of the house and surrounding areas turned up nothing, calls to the hospital and morgue had been fruitless. When all else failed, a call had been placed to Break - the man might cause trouble, but he also has an uncanny knack of being able to know when things happen around here.

Except that his NV had also been disconnected.

With Luca and Madame Red gone as well, Gilbert hadn't allowed his grief to show on his face. There's no reason that the atmosphere of the house should be brought down by his sorrow when everyone else was grieving their own losses as well. But then Rochelle disappeared as well. Her boyfriend, Nick also seemed to be unreachable. Gilbert had dropped a tray of frosted cupcakes to the ground upon hearing the news, too overcome with still-repressed grief to be able to keep his hands still. He still hadn't recovered when, upon bringing a new pet mouse home from his brother, he discovered that Vincent, too, had disappeared from Siren's Port.

Loss is accompanied by pain, but the realization that things are left so incomplete and unsaid and unresolved is accompanied by numbness.

It's that numbness that still resides in Gilbert's heart as he calls upon his young master this morning. The weather is finally turning nice, it's a good day to talk a long walk and talk about all the things that they have so far left unsaid. But as they walk through the busy weekend-streets, Gil can't bring himself to say a single word. His lips part every once in a while, only to close again before he can even clear his throat.

I can't cry. I can't say a thing. How can I burden Oz's fragile heart with my own personal pain?

Only a hideous person would ask such a small body to carry that type of heavy thought.

So he walks silently beside his master, at the place where he belongs, and says nothing.

The newcomer memorial isn't far.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yep, there's her name after all. And just a few spots below it, there's Xerxes Break. Not his real name, but a name that was real enough no matter what world he existed in. Gilbert only lets his eyes linger on Break's name for a second before he turns back to Alice's.]

Ah. Just Alice.

[Those words feel strange to say aloud, he realizes just after they leave his lips. He shivers and reaches up to rest both hands on Oz's shoulders as he stands behind him, rooting both of them into place properly.]

[ Oz leans back into that touch, shivering slightly and keeping his head bent down. He's used to warmer weather, not this chill from the ocean. ]

It doesn't do her justice. [ at all. She was just another easily skipped over name on a wall and she hated being ignored. Break, on the other hand, Oz didn't think minded the anonymity. So long as no one who mattered forgot him. ]

Oz...

[Even though Oz has always been completely honest when it came to Alice, it's still difficult to hear him speak so frankly. No, it didn't do her justice, because she was important to his young master, and if he said so, then it was true.

He drops his hands down to rub at Oz's shoulders in an attempt to warm him up a little bit.]

Are you sure you want to stay a while?

[ Oz leans into that touch, a look of almost ecstasy crossing his face for a moment. ]

Of course I do! You can't say goodbye without a proper send off. Didn't Sharon teach you that? [ and after all that time spent with the Rainsworth too. Maybe Gil should go back to finishing school... and maybe Oz should go with him. ]

[He scoffs, but in a way that sounds more embarrassed and mortified than anything else. Yes, there were definitely lessons during the period that Gilbert spent in Pandora and with Break and the Rainsworth house. He's learned to fear that fan, just as all men have.]

Then let's find a place to sit. [Hands still on his shoulders, he leads him towards the grassier area, close enough to where they can still read their friend's names.]

[ Strange, isn't it, how Oz disappears for a few years and Gilbert grows up into a capable man, knowing how to lead, knowing when to push. Oz certainly never taught him that, but... He still had mixed feelings on it, to be honest. He liked the Gilbert of old! But he didn't mind the Gilbert of now either. It certainly made things a lot easier, coming here.

Maybe Oz should try to grow up a little faster; he can't rely on Gilbert forever. But, for now, Oz will take his lead and sit, staring at the stone wall for a moment before checking out the view. It's nice, quiet, peaceful... Alice would have liked it; Break he wasn't entirely sure. Break never seemed like the type to just sit around. ]

It's kind of nice here. [ he flashes a smile and looks up at Gil, hands reaching for the picnic basket. ] C'mon, Gil. Let's eat!

[Every once in a while, it really is nice here. Though their friends are absent, represented only by names on a cold wall, he company is hardly lacking. With Oz at his side, he knows that he can accomplish anything. It's the one thing that hasn't changed in him at all; that one thing that motivates him forward.

He still hasn't answered Break's question from so long ago, but he still knows that as long as Oz is by his side, that's all that matters to keep him going. Despair can't fully exist when hope is still there.

Where have I heard that before...

He nods and leans forward to unpack the food himself. It's his duty, after all.]

Mmhm. Let's eat.

[ Oz watches for a moment before reaching into that basket to start helping. They were both here for a reason; Oz was going to do his part! ]

Do you think they'll come back? [ Like Oz did? Don't think he's forgotten that. ]

They have before. Both of them.

[Meanwhile he's been here the entire time, watching them disappear and reappear. He doesn't say that, but Oz can probably figure that out from what he's explained so far.]

[ oh... Oz turns special attention to the mustard before tossing that to the side, gently, and not even tossing, really. ]

Were they all just like me then? [ yep, he can put two and two together. It just makes Oz more determined then ever to not leave Gil alone again. He'll be taking Gil with him when he goes. ]

[He stays quiet a long moment, thinking about it. The first time that Oz had shown up, something had been wrong. He'd spoken of a place that he'd gone where your heart was replaced with a clock. He still has no idea if that really happened, if it was a hallucination or simply one of Oz's crazy stories, but he's seen their timeline with his own eyes, and knows that it doesn't happen at home.

Every other time, however...]

Yeah. [He finally admits, eyes still on the ground.]

[ Oz ducks his head then, shoulders slumped. ] So they are gone.

[ poor Gil. He's gone through this so, so many times. He has to do something, anything. But there's nothing he can do besides scoot a little closer and lean against Gil's side, peeking into the basket and what else might be hidden within. ]

You made sandwiches? [ he's not changing the subject; he's just trying to get Gil to look up again. A master looks out for his own after all. ]

[He leans over, his shoulder bumping against Oz's as he looks into the basket. He can't even remember everything that he's brought at this point, too trapped in his own nostalgic thoughts, even though he's only just packed it. There are sandwiches in there, along with fruit, a few cookies and tea in a thermos. One of the cooler modern inventions, he has to say.]

Ah. Cucumber and turkey.

Together? [ what an odd combination. Gil really was out of it. Mentally shrugging it off, he started to dig. ] It's a little strange, but if Gil made it, it has to be good! [ and there he goes, unwrapping and sandwich and nomming on it. There's no stopping Oz now! ]

Not together! There are two different kinds!

[What do you take him for, young master?! The turkey has sprouts on it, though, so it's not entirely meat. He can get away with that now that Alice isn't here. She'd probably kick him for putting vegetables on her precious meat!]

[ Oz's lips twitch around a sandwich bite before he swallows. ] I know. You'd never make something I didn't like!

[ see that trust shining in his face? It's blinding. ]

[He smiles and shakes his head. Such a thing to say...

Such a very normal, comfortable, predictable thing to say.

It's a good reprieve, a calming moment in the middle of a day filled with anxiety and sorrow and emptiness. Gil takes another sandwich from the basket and takes a bite. He doesn't even know which one he's chosen, but it doesn't matter. His young master's presence is what makes this moment so relaxing.]

there was nothing to be done

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