sirenspull_logs | I swear this time it won't turn out the same

Entry tags:

axel,
namine

I swear this time it won't turn out the same

Who: Namine and Open
When: Tuesday, May 29; Mid-day
Where: Baseball Diamond and optional Never Was Apartment
Summary: Namine gets revived and re-pulled after not dying via sparkles and being gone for a week. Cue a very confused and regretful bittygirl.
Warnings: Mentions of death, but that should be about it.

[Coming back to standing on the diamond, Namine was confused. Scared and confused, though not as much as the first time she arrived in the Port. Those anti-Newcomer messages... she recognized them, and not much else had changed in the landscape of the baseball diamond. The weather was still fresh, still May-like, but she wasn't sure what time of the year it was or how much might have changed beyond the diamond.

Namine knows that she's been gone though. Knows that she was sick and she vaguely remembers having a conversation with someone --Didi?-- before just slipping away into what felt like sleep. But it wasn't really quite sleep, not when you lost all sensation like that.

There could still be that sickness going around. In which case, she better keep her distance while she can. Namine still believes that she was the one that caused all her friends to be sick.

Though if no one finds her in the diamond, there is one place she wants to check. Though not having a key or even an NV to call and ask the others how they were, she knew the apartment would be a relatively safe place. Safer than out in the open of the diamond.

So with a deep breath, thinking about the apartment she shares with the others and an outstretched hand, Namine summons a portal and steps right in, a little nervous and a little scared for what might be around on the other side.]

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[He hasn't been back to that dusty old baseball diamond since he met that dragon there a few months ago--he really had no reason to visit, and it had just been a passing fluke that he'd even seen the dragon there at all. However since Naminé's death he's found himself there twice now. He knows it's where people show up when they're brought into Port, but he's beginning to believe it's just wishful thinking that he'll happen to stumble upon her. She's gone, and there's no telling if she'll be back, and somehow it vexes him, like every day her name isn't there in his registry is another tally mark under Things He Screwed Up.

[She was his friend--she was! ... Is! He refuses to refer to her in the past tense, even if there's a part of him that is endeavoring to come to terms with the fact that she's gone and he blew it again. He should have kept in better contact. He should have gotten in touch with her as soon as people started getting sick, just to check up! That's what friends did, right? Sometimes Axel things he just sucks at being anyone's friend; he would do anything for the people he cares about, but he finds he's quite the dunce when it comes to knowing what they need a lot of the time.

[His fever broke two days ago, but he still has trouble carrying a conversation that isn't punctuated with hacking, and sleep is still a challenge. He shambles down the block past the diamond, feeling every bit like the zombie he's sure he resembles, and casts sunken, haunted eyes toward the dusty field. She hasn't been there any of the other times he's walked past, today surely won't be any different.

[... But wait, there's movement in the field today: a flash of white-gold, a glimmer of indigo and black--a corridor? Could it be? He's imagining it, right?

[... No, if he were imagining things he probably would have had the corridor fizzle out--last he checked Naminé still had trouble calling a corridor. Is he hallucinating?

[Lifting a palm to his forehead, he's not even sure if you can check yourself for a fever that way, but his hands are cold and he can't really tell anyway. Screw it, if he's wrong he'll just go home and go to bed, but if he's not--!

[Yanking his hand from his brow and swiping it through the air to summon a portal of his own, he stumbles through without second thought, hoping to catch the figure in the swirling blues and greens of the spaces between spaces before an exit portal is opened.]

[Namine found that taking the corridors was still risky. There was nothing wrong with walking around the Port, and considering it could still be used by the Organization and the Dusks that roamed the areas, well, she wasn't fond of the idea of being caught unawares by unwanted beings.

Still, sometimes, it was the fastest and best route to take. Even if it did occasionally unnerve her.

Which is sort of what she's feeling in this space right now. There's no Dusks, nobody recognizable from the Organization lurking around. Yet, she can't help but feel like she was being watched and observed.

Not that it should really matter. She opens up a hand, to summon the exit portal and steps on through. She should be home soon and be able to quickly close it behind her so that... whatever is watching her doesn't get too close.]

[Staggering through the portal Axel scans the area and then stops short with a gasp. He would have recognized that slight figure and white-blond hair anywhere. Seriously, is he hallucinating or did she really come back?

[Only one way to find out.]

Naminé!

[His voice echoes in the nothingness. If the hallucination talks back, it's time to go home.]

[She only just stepped out of the portal when his voice reaches her ears. Blinking, she turns to the still open exit portal. Axel wasn't anything to fear ~~normally~~.

She won't close the portal, not yet. Even through the gloom and dark swirls, Axel doesn't look to good and it would be rude to close it on him. Though she wonders; why was he following her?]

Axel?!

[He watches her through the shifting folding edges of the portal and jogs toward it, finding it more difficult to exert himself than he'd like to admit. Damn this flu anyway! Stopping just on the other side of the corridor he peers at her a moment, then cracks the faintest hint of a smile. She's real, right? He's not imagining this, is he? She answered, but he's still not entirely convinced he's in his right mind. He'd heard that people came back sometimes, but it really didn't make any sense that they would.

[Well, no more sense than his showing up here after being dead, he supposed. Maybe Canada just didn't play by the rules.]

It is you, isn't it? [He shakes his head, a hand on his crown.] If I'm this delirious they should probably just put me down.

[He really did not look well. That much was obvious. He probably caught the illness too, somehow. She really should have kept in better contact with him and checked up once she did get sick.

The apartment is very quiet which is very strange in her mind. Would it really be deserted like this. She reaches out a hand, only to take it back. If they're both sick, they could infect each other again, and that wouldn't be good.

Instead, she turns half-way and gestures towards the couch in the living room.] It is, but... why don't you lay down?

[Because if he collapses, who knows if she's strong enough to carry him.]

[Well if that wasn't proof enough he didn't know what was. Only Naminé would be ten minutes back from the dead and already worrying for someone else instead. Holding up one hand in a silent declination before lifting it to cover his mouth, Axel shook his head, something like relief in his eyes.]

Because you already had this and it did a real number on you and I don't want it to happen again. I just... wanted to make sure it was really you.

[He starts to say something else but is interrupted by a coughing fit and turns away sharply, pulling up the collar of his sweatshirt to cover his face. He was not going to be responsible for getting Naminé sick again, no way. Even if he was confident she wouldn't be sore with him for it he was pretty certain he'd never be able to forgive himself, and in this situation that would probably just mean they'd both wind up dead. And then Roxas would beat him up. No, no, that wouldn't do at all.

[Taking a moment to catch his breath he left the shirt pulled up over his mouth and nose and shook his head again, taking a step back, his voice a bit muffled throughthe fabric.]

It's fine; I'll be fine. I don't want you to wind up sick again, I just had to be sure. [Even if she can't see the thin smile on his lips behind the shirt, she might see it in his eyes.] I'm glad you're back; s'gonna be a lot of people happy to see you.

[Right. She really must have disappeared, or left as Death called it. Her gaze fell when he mentioned that, the guilt at leaving people like that coming back to her. It wasn't exactly fair to put everyone else through that, was it? Especially given that a lot of them were sick last time she knew.

But when the coughing fit hits, she's torn. Her arms immediately raised up to try and console him or something, somehow, but the rest of her body wouldn't move, and instead she takes a step back. It's hard to not want to do something for him, when he's sick and it looks like she isn't. But she will respect his wishes and what she can see of them (with him moving back and all).

Still, it was hard. He needs help and he needs something to get the coughing under control. It wasn't fair to just decline help because she might get sick again.

She looked away for a moment at the end, thinking and being reminded of what her leaving did for everyone.] I guess. I just hope they're all okay.

[She paused, still keeping her eyes away from him until a minute has passed and she remembered something that was on her mind since she regained consciousness.] Axel, how long has it been?

They're okay. I mean... well, I dunno that I know all your friends, but... the mutual ones, anyway. [He clears his throat roughly and tugs the shirt collar back down to give her a reassuring smile.] You were missed, though.

[He still remembers Roxas' words that night he fled the Organization: "No one would miss me." It had stung then, and frankly it still stung a little now, to think that their existence was so lonesome they wouldn't even be missed if they disappeared. It was very important to him that Naminé not think such a thing.

[He furrows his brow at her inquiry then, thinking a moment.] Mm, just over a week, I think. It was last Monday. [He doesn't volunteer the information that Xion was the one who found her and made a panicked cry for help across the network.]

[She bashfully looked away, feeling a little better and more relieved once Axel lowered his collar off his face. To think that she had been missed, she guessed it was an honour of some sort, but it was still kind of strange, even after being here for almost year.

But it's then that she's reminded of Joe and her face fell again for just a moment. But, they're not on the best of terms really, Axel and Joe, so it would be best to keep that question to herself. However, she needs to find him and apologize. Given what she remembered from Oblivion, he... might not have taken it too well.]

...I'm glad to hear that. [More about everyone doing okay than the missed part.

And a week. That was a long time considering things. She only nodded, gaze dropping again and nervously rubbing her arm with one hand.] I'm... I'm sorry, that I...

Whoa, hey, none'a that. [He wags a finger sharply at her as she starts to apologize, cutting her off.] Look I dunno how much of this illness is actually caused by guilt like they say, 'cuz so far as I know germs don't work like that, but I'm not really interested in you taking chances, okay? [He shakes his head and ventures a grin. It really is good to see her.] Nobody thinks you did it on purpose--they'll all just be really glad you're back. So don't be sorry, got it memorized?

[And then he sighs softly, rubbing the back of his neck the way he does when he's feeling a bit awkward.]

Besides, I should be apologizing to you, if we're gonna go down that road. I've been here eight months now, I owe you for my memories of Xion--and more than that, even if you don't remember it--and we've hardly talked at all. [A shake of his head and he lets his hand fall back to his side.] So I'm sorry. [It's still such a strange word to hear his own voice say; it wasn't until he met Roxas that it even really reentered his vocabulary... Well, even if he's awkward, he means it.] I don't wanna lose touch like that again. I don't... want to hear about it secondhand if you're in trouble, okay?

[She's taken aback when he stops her, and she deflates a little realizing that he has a point. There isn't really any reason for her to disagree with him and make things worse, so she smiles slightly and nods numbly.] ...You're right.

[But now... he's apologizing to her?! She's gawking at him, a little stunned. She always knew that he had the capacity for it to be sincere, but the moments when Axel has apologized to anyone are far and few.]

Axel, you don't need to apologize. [She pauses, looks down and presses her hands together. It was sweet, very sweet of him, but she couldn't accept it on the basis that he has to be the only one who's sorry.

She looks back up at him, an apologetic smile coming to her face.] I'm just as much to blame for that as you are. I should've called when I got sick. I should have checked up on you too.

[Of course, he's not going to accept that for an answer, so she adds;] So, we're both to blame for that. Not just you.

[... Well gosh she doesn't have to look that surprised. He's been working on being more honest and stuff, honest!

[He smiles a bit helplessly when she counters him, though, and holds his hands up in surrender.]

Okay, fair enough: we're both not great at this. [He clears his throat again and sort of presses the pad of one thumb against his temple, grimacing faintly.] So... I guess we should try and work on it together from now on, all right?

[Ugh, the headache is blooming behind his eyes again; maybe he should go home. There's almost something pleasant about the pain now, though--he's learning from it, if nothing else. There was a time Axel ignored his guilt because he was trying to convince himself he couldn't feel it. And there was a time he had all but stewed in it, having nothing left to hold on to aside from the knowledge that he was alone because of his own foolish, selfish actions.

[Now? Well, this has shown him that maybe he just needs to learn how to deal with it. Heart or no heart, guilt is a part of life, it seems, and to let it consume you is no way to live. Axel hadn't even realized just how much he'd been carrying around until this crazy illness. Maybe it was time to really knuckle down and forgive himself after all. Roxas had already forgiven him... maybe he could do the same.]

[She believes it. It's still just odd to hear it sometimes, but she's glad all the same. Axel's put a lot of those emotions and thoughts on the back burner for so many years. It's good to know that he's trying, and doing well.] That's fine by me.

[And she nods in agreement. She's not the greatest friend either, not really having a lot of experience to act as precedents in the same way that Sora, Riku and Axel had. She'll try to be better, silently promising herself that.

He really doesn't look that good, and Namine looks around the apartment again, glancing at the couch. He doesn't want her to get sick, and she doesn't really want to either, but he needs rest.]

Do you want to stay here, or, go back?

[He laughs weakly.] You kickin' me out? [And then he waves a hand, grinning a bit so she knows he's just kidding.] I'll go. Like I said, I'm not gonna be the one to get you sick again.

[He takes a step back and summons a corridor, pausing in the ingress.]

I'm glad you're back. Let's both work on not being strangers this time around, yah? [Another step back and he gives her a genuine grin before the portal starts to close.] See you around, Naminé.

[Maybe today is the start of something good after all.]

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I swear this time it won't turn out the same

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sorry for the wait!

it's okay~

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