Roxas wheezed, and Xion apparently couldn't find her voice at all, and Axel rather felt like he'd been punched in the throat. This was the reaction he'd expected, but he still hadn't been prepared for it somehow. Okay, time for a little triage.
"Hey, come on now, don't... don't look at me like that," he said, sticking his ice cream in his mouth and impulsively reaching out to ruffle both their heads. Biting off a piece of the treat more in an effort to look casual than anything else, he shook his head and wagged the ice cream bar at Roxas. "Need I point out that I'm still here, and... well, frankly this is about the best next life I could have asked for, honestly." That nugget of honesty came easily, naturally, and he was almost a little surprised at himself. "I mean, you're both here, and I'm here, and none of us are under Xemnas' thumb anymore, and really that's all I wanted out of it anyway. Sure, this place has its issues but..."
He sighed and smeared his free hand down his face, gripping his chin a moment before meeting their horrified gazes with a helpless, apologetic attempt at a reassuring smile. He could see the questions in their eyes that they couldn't find words for, questions he'd actually had himself when he'd found out Roxas was really gone, when he had learned--remembered?--the truth about what happened to Xion. There was no easy way to cope with the loss of someone that important to you, no matter how good the reason.
Axel's eyes slid to Xion then and he managed a watery grin.
"It was my own choice," he said. "Don't think it was something lame like I just went and got myself killed; it was deliberate, and it was on my own terms."
He hadn't really done it for Sora. Sure, if Sora had been trapped in Betwixt and Between then Xemnas would have won and that wouldn't have been good for anybody, really, but that wasn't why he'd really done it. He'd done it because somewhere within that heart of Sora's were the only two people Axel could truly say were worth dying to protect. Maybe it was selfish of him, but maybe Axel was okay with that. What good was a world where the two people who matter most to you are lost?
He hadn't followed Sora planning to die, but when it had come down to living and watching Sora fail or dying so that he could succeed, the choice had been obvious.
"It was... well, in the words of somebody I know, it was for the good of everyone."
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"Hey, come on now, don't... don't look at me like that," he said, sticking his ice cream in his mouth and impulsively reaching out to ruffle both their heads. Biting off a piece of the treat more in an effort to look casual than anything else, he shook his head and wagged the ice cream bar at Roxas. "Need I point out that I'm still here, and... well, frankly this is about the best next life I could have asked for, honestly." That nugget of honesty came easily, naturally, and he was almost a little surprised at himself. "I mean, you're both here, and I'm here, and none of us are under Xemnas' thumb anymore, and really that's all I wanted out of it anyway. Sure, this place has its issues but..."
He sighed and smeared his free hand down his face, gripping his chin a moment before meeting their horrified gazes with a helpless, apologetic attempt at a reassuring smile. He could see the questions in their eyes that they couldn't find words for, questions he'd actually had himself when he'd found out Roxas was really gone, when he had learned--remembered?--the truth about what happened to Xion. There was no easy way to cope with the loss of someone that important to you, no matter how good the reason.
Axel's eyes slid to Xion then and he managed a watery grin.
"It was my own choice," he said. "Don't think it was something lame like I just went and got myself killed; it was deliberate, and it was on my own terms."
He hadn't really done it for Sora. Sure, if Sora had been trapped in Betwixt and Between then Xemnas would have won and that wouldn't have been good for anybody, really, but that wasn't why he'd really done it. He'd done it because somewhere within that heart of Sora's were the only two people Axel could truly say were worth dying to protect. Maybe it was selfish of him, but maybe Axel was okay with that. What good was a world where the two people who matter most to you are lost?
He hadn't followed Sora planning to die, but when it had come down to living and watching Sora fail or dying so that he could succeed, the choice had been obvious.
"It was... well, in the words of somebody I know, it was for the good of everyone."