Axel; Ⅷ; The Flurry of Dancing Flames (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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sirenspull_logs2012-08-17 06:17 am
got_it_memorized) wrote in sirenspull_logs2012-08-17 06:17 am
Hold on, hold on to yourself
Who: The Three Amigos
When: Friday 17August, midafternoon
Where: The lakeside beach
Summary: Axel's been holding off telling the kids something pretty important, and finally decides maybe he should just Nobody-up and be straight with them.
Warnings: Mentions of death and possible threats of violence on certain Keyblade wielders.
When Axel had promised to work on not keeping secrets anymore, this particular one hadn't quite factored into the equation. After all, Roxas had even said he didn't want to know about his future, but as time had gone on it had started to eat away at his insides, leaving him feeling sort of raw and hollow. Or, well... more hollow than usual, perhaps. He forgot most of the time that there was really no logical reason for him to be here at all because he was dead, but every once in a while something would remind him and a twinge of guilt would twist up in the pit of his stomach.
There was no telling how long they would be here, any of them. People disappeared from the port often and without warning, and Axel wondered sometimes if their days were numbered or if it was all random. He supposed it didn't really matter. All he knew was that he didn't want to disappear from this place with this secret still a secret from his best friends. If the truth came to light later, from someone else's mouth, that would be even worse. He knew Sora knew the truth, and while he trusted the boy to keep it to himself, Axel wasn't sure how many others knew. He was certain Xigbar and Xemnas knew, and hearing the truth from them would have been devastating, of that he was certain.
Somehow he was surprised it had remained a secret this long. Axel was all for pressing his luck, but maybe not so much when Roxas and Xion were involved. By some unexpected twist of good fortune, he'd been given that second chance he had never thought he would deserve, and wasting it by making the same stupid mistakes all over again wouldn't do at all.
He arrived at the lake before them, a little cooler slung over one shoulder with three ice cream bars inside. It was funny, the way such a small and simple old tradition had become something so important. He didn't expect the ice cream to soften the blow, but somehow he couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation without it as a buffer. Axel hadn't worn his coat for this--he had walked to the lake; he hadn't wanted to tell this story while wearing the Organization's garb, even useful as it was.
Sitting down on a toppled tree trunk, he kicked off his sneakers and buried his feet in the coarse sand of the lakeside, leaning back on his hands to wait for Roxas and Xion to arrive. They weren't going to like this story at all, but he wanted them to hear it from him, not from someone who would relish in the shock value of breaking the news. They said the truth didn't hurt unless it ought to, but Axel would have given just about anything to not have this story end the way he knew it did.
When: Friday 17August, midafternoon
Where: The lakeside beach
Summary: Axel's been holding off telling the kids something pretty important, and finally decides maybe he should just Nobody-up and be straight with them.
Warnings: Mentions of death and possible threats of violence on certain Keyblade wielders.
When Axel had promised to work on not keeping secrets anymore, this particular one hadn't quite factored into the equation. After all, Roxas had even said he didn't want to know about his future, but as time had gone on it had started to eat away at his insides, leaving him feeling sort of raw and hollow. Or, well... more hollow than usual, perhaps. He forgot most of the time that there was really no logical reason for him to be here at all because he was dead, but every once in a while something would remind him and a twinge of guilt would twist up in the pit of his stomach.
There was no telling how long they would be here, any of them. People disappeared from the port often and without warning, and Axel wondered sometimes if their days were numbered or if it was all random. He supposed it didn't really matter. All he knew was that he didn't want to disappear from this place with this secret still a secret from his best friends. If the truth came to light later, from someone else's mouth, that would be even worse. He knew Sora knew the truth, and while he trusted the boy to keep it to himself, Axel wasn't sure how many others knew. He was certain Xigbar and Xemnas knew, and hearing the truth from them would have been devastating, of that he was certain.
Somehow he was surprised it had remained a secret this long. Axel was all for pressing his luck, but maybe not so much when Roxas and Xion were involved. By some unexpected twist of good fortune, he'd been given that second chance he had never thought he would deserve, and wasting it by making the same stupid mistakes all over again wouldn't do at all.
He arrived at the lake before them, a little cooler slung over one shoulder with three ice cream bars inside. It was funny, the way such a small and simple old tradition had become something so important. He didn't expect the ice cream to soften the blow, but somehow he couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation without it as a buffer. Axel hadn't worn his coat for this--he had walked to the lake; he hadn't wanted to tell this story while wearing the Organization's garb, even useful as it was.
Sitting down on a toppled tree trunk, he kicked off his sneakers and buried his feet in the coarse sand of the lakeside, leaning back on his hands to wait for Roxas and Xion to arrive. They weren't going to like this story at all, but he wanted them to hear it from him, not from someone who would relish in the shock value of breaking the news. They said the truth didn't hurt unless it ought to, but Axel would have given just about anything to not have this story end the way he knew it did.
no subject
"Hey, come on now, don't... don't look at me like that," he said, sticking his ice cream in his mouth and impulsively reaching out to ruffle both their heads. Biting off a piece of the treat more in an effort to look casual than anything else, he shook his head and wagged the ice cream bar at Roxas. "Need I point out that I'm still here, and... well, frankly this is about the best next life I could have asked for, honestly." That nugget of honesty came easily, naturally, and he was almost a little surprised at himself. "I mean, you're both here, and I'm here, and none of us are under Xemnas' thumb anymore, and really that's all I wanted out of it anyway. Sure, this place has its issues but..."
He sighed and smeared his free hand down his face, gripping his chin a moment before meeting their horrified gazes with a helpless, apologetic attempt at a reassuring smile. He could see the questions in their eyes that they couldn't find words for, questions he'd actually had himself when he'd found out Roxas was really gone, when he had learned--remembered?--the truth about what happened to Xion. There was no easy way to cope with the loss of someone that important to you, no matter how good the reason.
Axel's eyes slid to Xion then and he managed a watery grin.
"It was my own choice," he said. "Don't think it was something lame like I just went and got myself killed; it was deliberate, and it was on my own terms."
He hadn't really done it for Sora. Sure, if Sora had been trapped in Betwixt and Between then Xemnas would have won and that wouldn't have been good for anybody, really, but that wasn't why he'd really done it. He'd done it because somewhere within that heart of Sora's were the only two people Axel could truly say were worth dying to protect. Maybe it was selfish of him, but maybe Axel was okay with that. What good was a world where the two people who matter most to you are lost?
He hadn't followed Sora planning to die, but when it had come down to living and watching Sora fail or dying so that he could succeed, the choice had been obvious.
"It was... well, in the words of somebody I know, it was for the good of everyone."