You don't love me, big fucking deal.

[hostage]

Who: Jesse Pinkman and Lisbeth Salander
When: almost directly after this
Where: Jesse's house
Summary: Lisbeth and Yosuke are apparently having a whirlwind love affair and Jesse is like, "Bitch, say what."
Warnings: Jesse is a jealous girlfriend, honestly.


[As soon as Jesse hangs up the phone, he tosses it across the couch and stalks off to find wherever Lisbeth's hiding. He finds her in her bedroom, as usual, and waits in the doorway. He doesn't really know how to start this conversation without sounding a little crazy, so he gives himself a few seconds to chill out. A few seconds might not be enough. He still sounds bitter when he says:]

You and Yosuke, huh?

Comments

[hostage]

What?

[Jesse backs up a little, eyebrows lifting the way they do when he has to work hard to be convincing because the lie doesn't come naturally.]

I dunno. I don't like him being mixed up and all planning to stab me or something.

[hejhej]

[Lisbeth tilts her head forward, her lips pursing briefly.]

Yosuke would chicken out. And you can kick his ass.

[hostage]

Yeah, but...

[No, actually. No. Yosuke has a Persona.

The rest is mumbled so it's nearly inaudible:]



Like I wanna get into a fight with a kid.

[hejhej]

[Lisbeth is curious to hear his answer, but none comes. Other than the obvious.]

Well, sorry, but you're not getting rid of me that easy.

[A joke? What?]

[hostage]

[That makes him smile. She probably doesn't even know how happy he is to hear that, actually. He feels ridiculous for being worried about it to begin with, but the reassurance is really what he was looking for.

The relief lightens his tone a little:]

Are you sure? 'cause, uh... Yosuke's a pretty hot stud. All smooth with the ladies. And what'd he tell me? He's got an almost successful business. And two apartments. And he's gonna start working out, so...

[hejhej]

[A little laugh.]

Just the kind of qualities I look for in a husband.

[hostage]

Ohhhh. Is that what it takes? Should I hit the gym?

[hejhej]

You're not getting anywhere near me with a ring unless you're lifting weights.

[hostage]

How many pounds do I gotta be able to lift?

[hejhej]

[She looks up at the ceiling as if thinking. Her gaze comes back down to his.]

Six hundred. And you gotta do that twitching thing with your pecs if you want sex on the honeymoon.

[hostage]

[Wait, Jesse has to try this right now. He holds his arms out and stares down at his chest.]

Just gimme a sec, I can get this one figured out...

[hejhej]

[Lisbeth tilts her head and watches him. Was he really..? She watches him, a small smile on her lips until holding in her laugh forces her to snort. Lisbeth clamps a hand over her mouth, horrified at her snort.]

[hostage]

[Of course, there's no muscle to twitch, so nothing happens. And when she starts snorting, he starts shaking with laughter, and the whole attempt is ruined.]

No, wait - Did you see it? I definitely got it. Hold on.

[hejhej]

[Damnit now she knows he won't stop. It was now hurting to keep in her laugh. She lurched once, twice like she was going to throw up, but instead came out the loudest laugh she'd ever given.]

[hostage]

[He forces himself still enough to "attempt" again, but this time she's laughing.]

You're missing it!

[hejhej]

[Lisbeth is still shaking with laughter that it's becoming difficult to breathe. When he tries to do it again, she shouts a 'no!' mid-laugh and jumps up from her chair. She gently pulls his arms away from his chest.]

I can't breathe.