sirenspull_logs | This is how it feels When the trust you had is broken

Entry tags:

This is how it feels When the trust you had is broken

Who: Diego Armando (

chiefdefense).
When: Evening on the 22nd, after this.
Where: Diego's apartment.
Summary: After Diego is taken ill, Mia learns exactly how much has been kept from her and she is not. Happy.
Warnings: Angst and heated words

[By the time Mia gets off the NV from Dr. Banner, she feels completely sick to her stomach and that same, dread sense of unease that she had hoped never to have to feel again in association with Diego. The news that he had had some sort of seizure on the train on his way home is so shockingly unexpected that it makes her head spin and suddenly she's 23 again, getting bad news from a stranger, but this time she has no explanation for it and she's not about to wait for one.

As soon as he gets home they're going to the emergency room, because healthy men do not suddenly collapse on trains and start fitting and she knows that with Maya and Phoenix gone, she absolutely cannot afford to lose Diego.

Not again.

To distract herself, she sets about petting Mir and listens out for the sound of Diego's key in the door.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Diego may as well have been on a death march. He's grateful to Bruce for his help... wishing incredibly that it wasn't required, and dearly hoping that Mia isn't going to overreact.

Who is he kidding? Of course she is. This is the woman who got the call seven... eight years ago, the day he was poisoned. This is the woman who has absolutely no idea that anything's still wrong with him, because he's been keeping it from her.

Expertly, too. He's hidden his pills from her, only taking them when she's sleeping or otherwise occupied. He hasn't said a word about his condition. He hasn't even taken off his shirt, knowing she'd see the scars and know something was wrong.

He's still a little pale and shaky as he heads up the stairs to the apartment. Part of him wants to go somewhere else, delay it as long as possible. But he knows she'd never forgive him if he stayed away now... he'd never forgive himself ever.

So with his very best lawyer-look in place, he opens the door and steps inside as quietly as he can.]

[It's Mir who hears Diego first, his ears pricking up at the sound of his master's footfalls on the stairs, and Mia is swift to react, picking up her already packed bag and heading straight to the door to meet him there.

She wants to tell him to turn around, that they're going to the hospital and he just needs to drop his briefcase and go, but the sight of him looking pale and trembling is enough to stop that tirade off at the pass.

She's tense as she throws her arms around him, but she had to hold him because the relief that he's home and not on a stretcher is overwhelming.]

Are you okay?

[He wasn't expecting her to be waiting. Well... maybe he was, but he was hoping that she wouldn't be. Kidding himself, of course. He almost flinches as she puts her arms around him, and he freezes in the doorway.]

I'm fine. Don't worry.

[Again... kidding himself.]

Don't worry?

[Her voice is rife with disbelief and misunderstanding. She draws back and stares incredulously.]

You had a seizure Diego, that's not fine! That's the very antithesis of fine, and we are going straight to the hospital to get this looked at.

[Oh boy. Here they go.

He sucks in a short breath at her suggestion, as though trying to hold back what his immediate reaction was going to be.

His voice is still as calm as ever. Obnoxiously so, perhaps.]

No we're not. I'm fine.

[For a moment Mia just looks at him, absolutely speechless with surprise. How can he be so calm about this? He just passed out and fitted on a packed train and is talking about it as though it's a completely mundane, run of the mill thing.]

Diego you are not fine, you're white as a ghost and, in case you forgot, you just had a seizure. People don't just have seizures for no reason, there could be something seriously wrong with you and we have to find out.

[Ouch. He tries as hard as he can not to react to that, and doesn't quite make it, frowning sharply. Before he can give himself away further, he pulls away from her to head further into the apartment, hanging up his briefcase behind the door.]

It's over now. Just let it be. I feel fine now.

No I will not just let it be, do you realise how worried I've been? Some doctor I don't know calls me and tells me not to worry because you've collapsed on a train, what the hell do you expect me to do?

[She isn't willing to let him walk away from this and she is hot on his heels as he tries to leave the doorway.]

If you have another attack I have no idea what I'm supposed to do and-

[He needs to stop walking away from her so she grabs his wrist.]

Diego either you come with me of your own accord or I am calling an ambulance, this is serious!

[The last thing he's ever wanted to do was worry her, and yet it seems like that's all he ever does. Back then... and now, even still. Her tone hits him hard, makes him ache deep in his chest and he's nearly overwhelmed with regret.

Even despite trying so hard, he's upset her now.

Abruptly, he turns around towards her, and the control is almost gone from his voice now.]

I'm not going to the hospital, Mia! They can't do anything.

[... Well. He didn't mean to say that last part.]

Edited 2012-08-26 07:24 (UTC)

[Mia doesn't expect his feathers to be ruffled that much, so the ferocity of his response is startling when he rounds on her and tells her-

Tells her what?

She reacts as though she's been struck, flinching at his words. "They can't do anything?" What is that supposed to mean? They can do CT scans, MRIs, run blood tests if they have to-

Unless they already have.]

What do you mean?

[He pulls his wrist away from her, turning around again with a huffy sigh.]

Don't worry about it. It's fine.

[He already knows that isn't going to work.]

Diego it's not fine!

[She can't help shouting and his continued avoidance of the subject is like a smack in the face of all her concerns.]

You know what this is don't you?

[He grits his teeth briefly, trying desperately to keep his voice calm. It's apparent that he's not going to be able to much longer.

There's no point in lying this time.]

Yes.

[Mia doesn't know which is the stronger emotion playing havoc with her right now; shock that apparently her boyfriend's got a history of seizures he which he completely neglected to mention to her before now, relief that he knows what it is and there's not something like a brain tumor sitting in his head like a time bomb, or anger that he's been keeping something like this from her.

She goes with worry, because if she gets angry at him she'll never get her answers.]

What is it? What's wrong with you?

[Part of him wants to say it again-- nothing. I'm fine. But now it's a lie, not just withholding. An inner voice mocks him, telling him it's all falling apart anyway and he might as well just be out with it.

He starts walking towards the bedroom, lowering his head with a sigh.]

What isn't?

That isn't an answer.

[She doesn't understand any of this, she can't work out why he won't even give her a straight answer when she's asking him outright and it's slowly trying her patience.

Slowly though, Mia feels like she's getting through a smoke screen, because for the last month she feels like something's been off about him and maybe it was just her relief that she had him back in her life, and then suddenly needing him desperately after losing Maya... she couldn't bring herself to rock the boat and address that, and now she's tired of walking on eggshells.]

Look I'm going to find out one way or the other and I would really rather cut the crap and just have you tell me now, when I am asking you to stop scaring me and tell me why you'd collapse like that.

Why?

[She's right. Of course she was going to find out one way or another... that's the way Mia is. Of course he couldn't keep it hidden forever.

That was his plan, wasn't it? It's as though he thought that the longer he hid the fact, the more of a chance there might be of... no. No, there's no way she'd never find out. Maybe he was hoping that it would go away.

How stupid. Stupid. He knows it will never go away. That there was really no way he'd ever be able to keep it from her, to keep her from worrying.

That makes him inexplicably furious. The anger is obvious in his voice now-- though it's not at Mia. He steps into the bedroom, pulls off his tie and throws it on the ground, hard.]

Because my body's a poisoned piece of junk. That's why.

[Mia follows him into the bedroom and keeps her distance, stands by the door, and just stares at him.

He's angry, and she doesn't know why unless he's really that upset that she's called his bluff. It's not fair, he's not the one who should be angry here, by rights it should be her losing her temper because he's been keeping things from her.

Poisoned piece of junk, he says?

Of course it's not the same as it was before he fell into the coma, Mia sees proof of that every time she looks at him and sees that strange visor or that shock of thick white hair, she can feel it in the difference in his body when he holds her, he's thinner now, but junk?]

Don't say that.

[She asked, and now she wants him to take it back? He lets out a dry scoffing noise, almost like a sob, and grits his teeth again. His voice is shaking and he can't bear to look at her.]

You wanted to know why. That's why.

I have seizures all the goddamn time.

And you didn't think that was something that maybe I'd want to know about?

[She's starting to get annoyed now; if he has seizures then why doesn't he do anything about it? If it's a condition he's aware he has then surely there are ways of controlling it, it doesn't make sense that he'd be this reckless with his body, even if he does think it's junk.]

Why aren't you on medication? It might be able to help.

Ha...! [It's a lifeless, pathetic fake laugh. Of course he did. But she shouldn't have needed to worry about it. Diego was the one who took care of her, not the other way around.

He still won't look at her, sinking down onto the bed and reaching up to grasp his forehead like he's getting a headache. Really, it's to make sure she can't see his face and how distraught he's starting to look.]

I am on medication. It's the only reason I'm still alive.

[Mia hears that and then feels all the blood run from her face in shock. Her ears seem to be filled with static as she looks at the man she thought she knew everything about lying on their bed telling her that he's taking pills to keep him alive.

And she didn't know.

She sat there at her desk yesterday telling him that his body was amazing and he was strong and he just let her keep talking and making a fool out of herself.]

I don't believe you. How could you keep something like this from me Diego?

[Now he's starting to sound defensive-- his face is burning with shame, because he knows she's right, but it's the same shame that he's walked with ever since he woke up in this lousy, broken body.

It's shame he's never been very good at coping with.]

Do you think I like acknowledging the fact I'm a walking corpse?

Do you think I like having to hear that you're sick because a stranger wanted to let me know what was happening to you?

[Her voice is shaking a little because she can't quite believe what she's hearing.]

We're supposed to be honest with each other. Were you ever planning on letting me know?

[That shaking in her voice only makes it worse. She has every right to be angry. He's a disgusting liar, and he's lied to the one person he never should have.

He makes another of those dry noises, lowering his face into his hand.]

I didn't want to worry you.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 7

This is how it feels When the trust you had is broken

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject