You're my lady of the morning

[failedparenting]

Who: John Winchester and Mary Winchester
When: A few days ago, right before sirens
Where: John and Bigby's apartment
Summary: Mary had some revelations about love, and John gets caught up in the mushy, romantic path of it.
Warnings: Sex, love, and Winchesters.


[It's one of those nights where the drinking needs to start a little earlier than usual, because it's been one of those days when everything feels like shit. Work just isn't what it used to be, with the anti-newcomer sentiments getting stronger. People just don't want to come to him anymore, even people he's gotten to know and like. His paycheck's getting smaller, but god, he doesn't even want to think about that.

As his first glass of Jack slowly disappears, he finds himself missing the early days in the city, before everything really went to shit. He had Mary to come home to then, and an apartment that always smelled like food, and a little like cigarettes. It didn't last long at all, but it wonderful compared to what he has to deal with now.

Nowadays all he's got to look forward to is a man almost as grouchy as he is and an ever-present cloud of cigarette smoke.

He just can't have nice things at all, can he?]

Comments

[momchester]

[I won't walk away again. It's as much of a reassurance as she could ask for, as much as she could want- but part of her is still afraid. Still afraid that, despite his promises, she'd find a way to drive him away with her mistrust and her inconsistency and her wandering eye. She closes her eyes painfully at the kiss then looks at him, eyes searching.]

I have to be honest, John- there are still really serious things between us, and we have to talk about them.

[Lip bite.]

But I know now that a lot of this is me, and what a hard time I have trusting anybody now. You lost a lot of my trust a long time ago, and I haven't really been trying the way I should. It's hard. [Her voice cracks a little.] I have a hard time trusting anybody. Or letting anyone in.

[The person who got all the way in was Michael. Michael knew her deepest, darkest demons, and he knew what a burden she carries, and he's gone. He's gone, leaving her feeling so very alone in this world.]

[failedparenting]

[He just holds her while she talks, and the knot of stress in his chest keeps getting bigger and bigger. Why is she talking about this, right now of all times? She can't be breaking up with him, not with what she said before, but she sounds too unsure for him to be comfortable.

When she admits she doesn't trust him anymore, it's the last straw. That hurt too much to keep quiet.]

I'm sorry, Mary. I'm so sorry.