002 @ The Morning After The Night Before

[hikari_no_kundou]

Who: Eraqus, Terra, Ventus
When: [Backdated] Early morning onwards on 4th September (After this scene).
Where: House of Departure, Sector 4
Summary: A family starts the process of fitting the pieces back together again.
Warnings: Angst. Feels. Srs faces. Bonding?



Staring at an unfamiliar ceiling in the dark, it took a moment for Eraqus to process where he was. When he was.

Inhale, exhale.

That the aches running through his body were very much self-inflicted (more or less) was not at all in doubt. The fact he had a body at all to feel them in was, and tired eyes stared at the shadows his hands formed in bewilderment, before he pressed the heels of each palm against them. The fact it was still dark meant he could not have slept long -- assuming he hadn't simply passed out from a combination of exhaustion, confusion and overextending his abilities. It could well have been both.

Inhale, exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Though his back protested, the keyblade master pushed himself into an upright position; he didn't have the reserves to call on more restorative magic, though he could sense the lingering remnants of Curaga in the air. The familiarity of the spellcaster's signature gave him pause. A pause that was neatly toppled by a resurgence of memory, of what had happened. Who had happened, so to speak. Of why he felt so exhausted.

Left hand lifted, pressing over his chest, and for a moment, Eraqus felt the uncertainty nestled there, wings unfurled protectively over the frayed tatters of his heart.

So many things, so many bonds that needed mending..

Inhale. Exhale.

Pushing himself to his feet, the old master brushed absently at his robes before taking slow stiff steps towards the door.

Comments

[hikari_no_kundou]

The most quiet shuffles seemed to echo loudly ahead of him in the stillness. It made the pause in unsteady steps far louder than simple movement should have allowed as Eraqus emerged from the hallway proper. Progress was arrested across the threshold as the Master's back straightened, and he dropped his hand from the wall.

For a moment, grey eyes rested on the direwolf. A blink followed. Then a second. If the reality of the situation had been slow in setting in before, the beast occupying the couch now caused a brief ripple of uncertainty as to the state of his own mind (never mind the world at large).

And then his attention turned to the other figure in the room, standing so stiffly.

His heart lurched painfully, echoed only in a sharp intake of breath, the slight curl of his fingers as his own stance echoed Terra's.

Part of Eraqus wondered if he should have waited. For what, exactly, he could not have said, nor for how long - it already felt as if too much time had already passed since they'd last been in such a position, even with the night's beginning having been all too unpleasant a reflection of an ending neither had wanted.

His expression was still locked in solemn severity as he tried his best to keep emotions under a tight rein, in spite of the tiredness and disorientation, and the sight of his first apprentice.

The tick-tock-tick of the clock was the only sound within the silence.

[todomarishi]

Terra kept still as the Master entered the room and paused just inside the doorway. He felt himself tense up as his gold eyes locked on the man who had been both an instructor and a father to him. He waited and he worried, his body braced in anticipation of whatever was to come. Maybe the Master would summon his Keyblade and lunge at him, maybe he would fall again, maybe he would turn back and walk away... All possibilities his heart insisted he needed to be ready for. All possibilities his heart knew he deserved.

Twice before the Master had been brought to Siren's Port. They had found him on the baseball field each time and had simply brought him home. But he had vanished almost as swiftly as he'd shown up. Terra was convinced his Master's disappearances were his fault: surely it was his darkness that had repelled the Master's light.

He'd sworn to himself if Eraqus was pulled back to the city again, he would do everything in his power to hide his eyes and his darkness, so that his friends might have more time with their teacher. It wasn't fair to them to have to lose him over and over and over again, in their own dimension and here, because of him.

But it hadn't worked out that way. His plans had been forgotten in the midst of battle. The color of his eyes and the shadows in his heart had been revealed too soon.

He dreaded what that meant for the Master's stay this time.

Terra's gaze drifted to the floor. The minutes passed sluggishly by, marked by that too-loud ticking somewhere behind him.

Oro was also watching Eraqus closely, but his expression was curious. He laid his head down over the couch armrest and whined softly.

Terra stirred at the sound. He couldn't just stand around any longer.

Steeling his resolve, he breathed out shakily and moved forward. His steps were decisive at first but slowed as he neared the Master. When only a small gap was left between them, he came to a stop.

He blinked hard to try and clear his blurring vision. Only the briefest of glances up into the Master's eyes would be risked before his chin fell to his chest again. Closing his eyes tight, he lowered himself to his knees in one fluid motion. His hands were placed on the floor in front of him and he sank down into a low bow, his head pressed to the hardwood panels.

[hikari_no_kundou]

The nightmare was over. But what sort of reality had they been returned to?

His appearance had changed in small but significant ways, yet he still moved like Terra, held himself like the young man he raised in the Land of Departure. Whatever darkness and shadows he could sense - and his heart could not deny what was there - that was not all that remained or defined the keyblade wielder before him, inspite of the many hurts his heart had survived.

The meaning of golden eyes was not lost on Eraqus, the clearest sign of his own failure as Master to his Pupil, a reminder of what had been allowed to happen because he had not done enough to prevent it, to protect him as a Master should. A reminder made worse by the phantom flicker of pain that twinged beneath his shoulder blades, of the searing betrayal by one he had wanted so badly to believe in, who's actions underscored his own fracturing of precious trust between students and teacher with merciless mocking mimicry.

In spite of Eraqus' best efforts, he felt the weight of his regrets pulling at both heart and emotion, felt it add the years he had not lived as he stared back at Terra. The room could easily be cleared with but a few strides, yet the gulf between them seemed so much wider, and the silence was painfully loud, easily filling the living space and tap dancing across the nerves made raw from the tension.

Gaze flicked to the wolf at the intrusion of sound, the slight whine underscoring the mood present in the room, before the younger man took the initiative and began to move. Head lifting slightly, his back straightened, and Eraqus felt his breath catch as he waited.

It took him a moment to register what Terra was doing. Then all colour drained from the Master's face as the young man sank down into a bow. 'No..' His head shook slightly, though Eraqus said nothing, made mute by the swell of emotions that closed around his throat in a vice grip.

No.

Slowly, Eraqus sank to his knees and his hands extended towards Terra's shoulders, though for a moment, they hovered, fingers twitched in almost-retreat. Uncertainty prevailed, until the elder keywielder closed tired eyes and did his best to sooth his unsettled heart. That was the very least he could do, for the sake of his apprentice.

Assuming Eraqus even had the right to call himself his Master anymore.

The initial contact was gentle, before hands pressed very firmly against Terra's shoulders, urging Terra to rise out of a bow Eraqus did not in any way deserve. Press became a push, only if the unspoken request was met with resistance, and stopped only once Terra's obeisance had ended, grey eyes growing wet as he waited to meet the other's eyes.

[todomarishi]

The rustling of fabric alerted Terra to his Master's movement. Keeping his eyes shut, he waited for judgement to be passed.

... Finding the Master's hands resting on his shoulders was about the last thing he'd been expecting to happen. Terra flinched and lifted himself up slightly at the touch, surprise and confusion causing his commitment to the bow to waver.

Yet his resolve returned swiftly when he realized what his Master was asking of him.

A single shake of his head was his response. For several long moments, he refused to move or be moved.

The Master had no way of knowing what all had happened... He didn't understand and how could Terra explain anything to him now?

Still, common sense dictated he couldn't stay flattened to the floor forever.

With some reluctance, Terra finally sat up.

He didn't dare look his teacher in the eye, though.

[hikari_no_kundou]

There was no judgement. How could there be? Eraqus knew nothing of what had transpired here, or elsewhere, beyond a sense of distance brought about by events beyond their control. At least, before tonight - and his own actions, in the Master's mind, far outweighed any wrong his student could think to be punished for.

It took far longer than he wished until Terra, finally, complied with his unspoken request. And with his face still downcast, eyes hidden, Eraqus was unable to tell if what he had seen hours ago had been a trick of the darkness and the night.

He did not think it was, though he had so wanted to hope.

"..It has been a very long time since we last saw one another," he said, voice still gravelly with disuse, though not as raw as he had feared. The sentance was phrased like a question, really, a desire for confirmation of something his heavy heart knew was a certainty - though exactly how long escaped him. Time had not exactly been very linear since..

His hands remained a light grasp fixed on Terra's shoulders. Not tightly, though who could say what sort of comfort (or discomfort) the gesture brought to the younger keyblade wielder. But Eraqus did not dare let go.

[todomarishi]

Terra didn't mind that his Master's hands hadn't left his shoulders: as long as they were there, he didn't have to decide whether he should stay put or stand and back away. It also helped allay his fear of the Master vanishing again, if only for the present moment. No one, as far as he knew, had ever disappeared right in front of someone else.

Eraqus' statement, noticeably a question in disguise, was difficult for him to answer, though. It certainly felt like it had been a very long time since they had last seen one another. Part of him wanted to say yes for that reason alone. But it wasn't the truth.

"No, Master," he mumbled, "You were here last year."

Twice.

"You probably don't remember."

He wasn't sure why he had added the 'probably' -- it was obvious enough the Master didn't remember his previous stays, given everything he had said and done over the past few hours.

Terra swallowed hard against the knot caught in his throat.

"Most people can't remember their previous stays when they leave this world and come back again later," he added in a flimsy attempt at being helpful. He wasn't sure if there was even any point to telling his Master all this, at least not right this minute, but he didn't have it in him after the long night (and all the long years) to pick and choose his words or lie to his father-figure.

[hikari_no_kundou]

His fingers tightened involuntarily as Eraqus absorbed Terra's words, both the contents and the mumbled framing, even as the young man before him still refused to meet his gaze.

"Year..?"

His voice reflected the slight flinch in movement that had accompanied the sudden increase in grip, pained surprise unpleasantly choking further words for well over a minute. That could not be, surely. His most immediate memories - jumbled, disjointed and painfully stark in places though they were - protested that length vehemently.

But his heart knew there was no lie here. Not in Terra's words or voice, the weight that bowed his student's shoulders.

He *had* been here. And then he had been gone. Along with whatever memories had been made. The presence of his own magic woven within the House protections told him so, spells he knew for a fact he had never cast, could not have cast.

'Probably' indeed.

"The.. Strange darkness here. Does that play a part in it?" This loss of memory. It certainly had not helped him remember. The foulness beyond the walls lingered, as if recognising it were being referred to.

The mortification Eraqus felt seemed to drain him of what little colour he had recovered in his short rest. "A year," the words were repeated, almost under his breath. His heart keened as grey eyes lifted, staring past Terra to fix on the far wall a moment. "...How long have you been here?" Singular, plural. Before and after that singular year, that much was certain.

[todomarishi]

"It might," Terra answered. He wasn't sure if the Greeters had gotten a chance to speak with his Master when he first showed up on the baseball field. (He wasn't sure his Master would have listened even if they had tried to inform him of what was going on.) Turning his head away just slightly, he recited some of the basic facts of the city around them, "People from all different worlds are brought here by something called the Core. It's some sort of magic device. It's supposed to be the Core that decides when to send those people back to wherever they came from, too. But no one really knows for sure why a lot of people who end up being pulled here multiple times lose the memories they made here before. It could be the an effect of the Darkness."

He went on without pause, "I've been here for two years."

... Only to quickly return to the other subject, "This place is called Siren's Port. The Darkness outside only shows up at night. The world looks pretty normal during the day."

[hikari_no_kundou]

Greeters?

Were they to be mentioned, Terra would be met with a blank stare - assuming he'd take the time to meet his Master's eyes. The haze surrounding his arrival was slow to lift, and Eraqus was still not certain of the circumstances involving his arrival in this world. Perhaps he would not have listened to the Greeters under other circumstances, but unfortunately, the first person, rather than monster, that Eraqus had met in his confused wanderings had been Roxas.

(And we saw how that turned out...)

He listened now, however, his own head tilting slightly as Terra looks aside. The Master was not certain what to think, the description of this 'Siren's Port' sounding much like an unpleasant reversal of the fabled Traverse Town.

And so much of what was said had clearly been memorised to heart, spoken as though Terra had rehearsed and recited several times. And perhaps he had.

Two years.

"I see." A swell of remorse rose in his chest. How do you apologise for something beyond memory or understanding? Eraqus remembered none of it. Something else he owed apology for.

"And you -- all three of you -- are here." He was not certain if that was a blessing or a curse, even if the fact they were here brought him no small joy - that at least part of the disaster had been a reality--

His brows furrowed at once. "And that boy... Who, what was he?" If he was not Ventus (and he could not have been Ventus, because Ventus had also been there), or the χ-Blade incarnate..

His heart hardened. Was Xehanort here, too?

[todomarishi]

"We're all here," there was a small nod given as confirmation for what had been said by the Master, but no details on how that had come to be, or any of the many other matters related to their being in this world, were offered. Terra's eyes settled on his Master's hand for a moment as he considered shaking it off and getting up.

"The boy is a friend of ours. His name is Roxas. What he is..." Did he really have any business explaining it? If so, did he really want to delve into that mess right now, after a very long night and with so much else to cover?

"Well, it's a long story."

From behind him, Oro grunted his disapproval.

[hikari_no_kundou]

Who was the grunt intended for? Grey eyes flickered away briefly from Terra, lips pursed as he regarded the direwolf. A long story - and no doubt you happen to be one of them, eh?

"..It would seem there are a great many of those I'll have to hear about." And not just from Terra.

All three of them really were here. And this 'Roxas' - a friend..? The name rang no bells at all. "So he is not--" The Master's eyes closed and he bowed his head, shaking it slightly when an oddly shakey breath escaped him, interrupting whatever he'd intended to say. What sort of person had he become that he could not tell friend from foe?

A dull ache burned along his back. "It would seem I am doomed to repeating old mistakes.. Thank you, for stopping me." Though the words were thick with an emotion he could not place, he was, truly, unspeakably grateful (and no small part proud). His grip tightened a moment - his apprentice might have trouble brushing his hand aside at this rate. "You should never have been placed in such a position again.."

"I am sorry, Terra."

For what little that was worth.

[todomarishi]

A slight wince pulled at the corners of Terra's mouth and narrowed his eyes. Oh, the Master had no idea just how many long stories there were... or just how reluctant his oldest apprentice was to have to tell any of them.

"It's fine, Master."

That hand on his shoulder wasn't going anywhere, was it?

"I've repeated a few old mistakes, too."

Guiltily, he looked straight ahead again, this time glancing up far enough to search for his Master's gaze.

[hikari_no_kundou]

'It's fine, Master'.

It was Eraqus who's eyes remained closed now, and his lips pursed a moment before being dragged into a humourless smile. "No... No, it is not," sighed the older Keybearer. "In time, perhaps.." Time he had not ever expected to have again, beyond a shred of hope in the midst of gravest uncertainty, back...where ever it was that his heart was hidden.

A faint chuckle resounded in his chest. "..perhaps we can learn not to repeat them together?"

Straightening up, his greying forelock of charcoal hair swayed back and forth a moment, and Eraqus' eyes opened again, in time to see Terra's hesitant stare lift, and catch the guilty glint as it stole a look up at him.

His eyes widened slightly, as silvered grey met gold. Though there was no overt intake of breath, the Master's posture straightened and a very, very frank stare ensued. One that gave no notion as to what sort of judgement might be hidden within it.

Judgement that Terra no doubt expected. And, given the events of the night, perhaps...feared?