take a breath -

[iudex]

Who: Oswald Birdville (iudex) & Ciel Piehive (littlest_lord).
When: Toniiight - sometime during the evening when people are mostly sleeping.
Where: Phancyhive.
Summary: Oswald stumbles upon the music room. Meanwhile, Ciel is sneaking treats again.
Warnings: N... one...?

[It's easy this time, at least, to sneak away from the room he landed himself in and can't seem to get himself permanently out of. (It's like Jack has a device that goes off when Oswald tries to leave the property for any period of time, yeesh.) This time, he can explore - people are sleeping so his avoidance is fulfilled - and slip past where he knows (on some level) that there are slumbering strangers.

Oswald isn't as tired anymore, but that doesn't mean that he wants to see anyone. They give him terrible, terrible headaches.

His sneaking is aimless and it's only coincidence that he wanders into the room with the piano. This would be a good time as any to leave - get out and run away and make sure he can't be tracked - but what he's found dashes that away. Would it be wrong to lift the cover and play? For a little while, he thinks. Oswald would go crazy without the ability to play something, whether it be the piano, the violin, or something other than those.

There's this, at least; he's slid over before he realized it, fingers pressing down on the keys that start Lacie.

A question appears high in his mind: can he play without waking anyone up?

...

Challenge accepted.

Oswald doesn't bother to sit - he just begins to play softly, wringing the notes out from his clear memory of the song he composed for his younger sister.]

Comments

[iudex]

[one tart left, huh? - ciel really is small, but everyone is small compared to oswald. even jack is cut short a few inches (maybe three or four), but ciel is tiny beside him and oswald knows he can't dislike him.

he can't trust him either. that's a given for everyone here, though ciel's words when he finishes have impact.

sweetly, slowly, he looks at ciel and smiles. it's a far cry from what he could conjure up once before thanks to - to someone, someones, people he can't remember, but it's genuine and oswald could glow. he had dug his own hole by not knowing which path to follow and he's done the same thing here, but oswald is aware of what he'll choose in the end.

in the end, that might just okay. ciel's words ease the pain in his head caused by trying to remember enough for him to speak.]

- Lacie is my younger sister.

[just in case jack hadn't mentioned it. but, lacie isn't gone yet. he hasn't wiped her existence away in his time or cast her into the abyss; she's still under his palm with that smile on her face that he'll never wipe from his memory.]

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[Jack hadn't mentioned it, and Ciel looks up at the now softly smiling man with a slightly one-eye wide gaze. A younger sister...Well, if Alois' dedication to Luca hadn't been enough of an indication as to how older brothers acted toward their younger siblings, it comes of little surprise that Lacie, Oswald's younger sister, had been important. Or was important. Who knew really what her true story was - Ciel surely didn't.

It's not as if he knows what it's like to have siblings either. Ciel was a lonely child for most of his childhood. Sure, he was loved more than anything else by both his parents and close relatives, but he'd only ever one playmate and that was Elizabeth. He didn't know what it was like to be a brother, but it must've been a tiring job. Even Edward, Elizabeth's older brother was unbearably over protective of her and thought of her as God's gift to Earth. Maybe both Edward and Alois were extremes when it came to examples of sibling affection, but that still didn't take away the fact Ciel would never know what it felt like.

All he has to compare is the fondness he had for his late parents.]</sub>

I've always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling, younger or older. It must be nice.

_{[To have someone to depend on and someone to keep you company - to grow up with. Would things have been different, if he had a sibling? It was a curious thought to ponder upon.]}

[iudex]

[the smile falls away quickly (he's not used to it even forming, especially with what's happened), and oswald - shakes his head.]

I don't believe that I would be the best person to say.

[because he's going to erase his sibling's existence. ... still. he can give him that, can't he.] The experience depends on the person, but I suppose that it is nice. Lacie is someone who cannot be replaced. [much like jack.] Often times I used to find myself chasing after her because she would become upset and run away, but I do not regret it.

[the only thing he regrets it existing.

by just existing, he's hurt her irrevocably and made her hated by humans who fear and despise the children of misfortune. (it would have been better if he just hadn't been born -)]

[littlest_lord]

It is a good thing to have...something you can cherish and not regret.

<sub>[A rare thing to possess in life. There were simply so many things to regret, so many things to look back on and wish they had gone differently. Ciel not only hated but regretted his very existence from time to time and although he had sworn to himself to never look back, to take the hatred he had gained from past transgressions toward him and use it to move forward without regretting a single thing...it was easier said than done. Back home it had been easy. Back home, he hadn't to care about anyone aside from himself. Here however, his existence was without reason, his goal stripped away.

It was hard not to regret sometimes.

The last tart of his was gone, the plate clean as little fingers reached out toward the keys, brushing over them lightly, but never pressing down.]</sub>

Especially when there are so many things one can come to regret in life.

[iudex]

Yes.

[he regrets a great many things, but lacie isn't one of them. (jack isn't either, as much as oswald might wish that he were.) lacie said that she didn't regret being born and that he shouldn't regret it either.

but, she doesn't know how it feels to be responsible for the reason why her sibling is loathed and rejected by society. she doesn't know how it feels to twist the things around her without any intention of doing so until they become things that are hated, too, corrupted beyond words and feeling. as a baskerville, she's certainly capable of knowing; but, oswald knows lacie better than anyone else, just as she knows him better than anyone else. he'd never belittle her fate aloud.

this is a cycle. to avoid it becoming worse, oswald must not let anyone close enough for them to get hurt - that was a rule back there too, wasn't it? there was only one exception, but he remembers that that exception was already...

...

violet eyes watch ciel carefully, look passive before he takes his hands off the keys.] It's best to focus on the things that you cherish rather than the things that you regret.

[children should never have regrets, especially not those brought on by the past.

distraction time:] Play something for me.

[it almost sounds like a hesitant question, but oswald's never been one to skirt around choppily.]

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[It was best to focus on the here and now and those things that could be cherished and loved without question.

Any more dwelling on inner thoughts of the past was cut short by the request, one that Ciel found himself looking up at Oswald immediately, in surprise.]</sub>

Play something?

_{[Well...if this wouldn't be nerve wracking...but could he really turn down such a request?]}

Anything?

[iudex]

[into which he just gets up and scoots the piano bench out with him, slipping away to stand off to the side.

enough, at least, so that he can watch ciel play.]

Anything.

[if ciel can, of course. he won't fault him no matter what; oswald is making an abrupt request, and if ciel would rather wait - that's fine too.

(part of him hopes it'll quell their inner demons.)]

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[It's been some time since Ciel's had to perform on piano under the scrutiny of a watchful eye. It isn't as if he's bad at it either - he's been taking lessons along with violin for years now. Even so, the violin had always suited him better, what with his tiny fingers and all. The violin won't help him here, however, he's being asked to play the piano and nothing more.

It feels as if it's been ages since he's touched the keys, even though it hasn't been that long ago.

Slipping into the middle of the seat and scooting forward so his feet can reach the pedals, Ciel raised his little fingers to play an ever so hauntingly beautiful minuet by Handel. It's slow and fits the mood, complimenting the atmosphere left in 'Lacie''s wake. For Ciel, it's a favourite, a melody he used to listen to his mother play some afternoons when the weather was crisp and the leaves had all but fallen.

Hopefully, it will suit Oswald's demand.]</sub>

[iudex]

[no, it's hardly that he's bad. oswald doesn't watch for missed keys or notes that weren't hit on time - he's looking for emotion (always has, always will), and.. other intriguing things that he's always been odd about, and certainly what he gets is suiting enough that he shuts his eyes and lets himself listen.

it makes him kind of sleepy, but that's good. he likes falling asleep on cool leaves and waking up with them in his hair and on his clothes - but then thinking about that makes him sleepy too oops best to keep his head clear and open his eyes. he could fall asleep leaning against the wall, he knows.

oswald waits until ciel has finished to return to the side of the piano bench, not sitting down but reaching out to brush his fingers over the piano itself.

...] I apologize for making such an abrupt request. [still, soft and peaceful now - just a little bit as a small smile returns.] It was beautiful - thank you.

[littlest_lord]

_{[Well if that didn't feel good to get over with. Shoulders relax as Ciel casts his gaze upward toward the now slightly smiling man, daring to return the expression with one of his own.]}

You're welcome. Playing piano isn't my forte - I'm far more comfortable with a violin in hand than anything else, if I'm to be honest. I'm glad it suited your taste.

[iudex]

Even so, you did well.

[especially for something as abrupt as that. most squabble and stare at oswald like he's grown a second head. (perhaps a second or third soul, but never an actual head, sorry...)]

Would you play the violin for me one day as well?

[ALL THE MUSIC...]

[littlest_lord]

Thank you.

_{[It feels good to be praised...]}

If you would like me to, I would not be averse to it.

[iudex]

[yes, he can understand that... praise should be dealt where it is earned.]

I would like that very much. [and he means it, as he sits on the edge of the bench then and. sighs.

don't make him go back to that room...]

[littlest_lord]

_{[What a forlorn looking man...Is this what he's going to look like in 15 years???]}

I will pick a piece from Bach then, to play for you.

_{[And then, remembering-]}

There are many great composers from this world. I'm sure you'd be rather fond of them. To this day their music is still being performed and enjoyed the world over.

[iudex]

[better believe it.

he goes to question what the shit a bach is - edible? object? - but ciel takes care of that quickly. oh. ahahaha, good.]

Is that so? [hmmm.] I'll look forward to it, then. If you've done well with this piece, I've no doubt that you will do well with the next one.

[zero doubt. look at all this shining doubtlessness.]

[littlest_lord]

_{[Aaaaahhhhhh expectation. When was the last time he actually had expectation placed upon him from others and not just inwardly from himself? It feels like some time. Sure, certain things were expected of an Earl, but it has been some time since his title has meant anything. Two years, now.]}

I will do my best.

_{[Setting his hands in his lap, he looks up at Oswald.]}

Feel free to spend your time in the music room whenever it suits your fancy. There is a harpsichord over in the far corner in addition to the piano, and if you wish to try your hand at strings there is a cello and viola about. Oh, and of course a violin.

I've a selection of sheet music that may strike your fancy as well, if you find yourself wishing to learn something new.

[iudex]

[he expects ciel to wear pants next time, too. or shorts. oswald can deal with shorts. he doesn't know why he can deal with shorts now, but ah - children.

("lighten up, glen!")

oswald believes him when he says that he'll do his best. he expects nothing less (and nothing more), but oswald has been low on expectations since he arrived. hopefully this one won't fail him (betray him, hate him-). nodding, either way.

it suits his fancy now when jack has decided that it's high time to share a bed with him - he's not shared a bed with anyone but lacie, so it's weirdweirdweird and he refuses to stay like that.]

I imagine I'll be spending a lot of time here, then. I cannot return to that room tonight. [SUFFERING... so much suffering.] Perhaps tomorrow I could look through the sheet music.

[he's going to end up wearing himself out on the piano tonight. DON'T TELL JACK...]

[littlest_lord]

_{[Ciel won't hate him, nor will he betray him. He has no reason to. A mental note is made to get the sheet music out for Oswald later on.]}

You cannot return?

_{[Now that garners a curious look from Ciel.]}

Is there something unsatisfactory about it?

[iudex]

[.....

.................

...] Jack will not leave my bed.

[sobbing on the inside. so much sobbing.]

[littlest_lord]

_[...]

...Oh. Sometimes, it's hard to get rid of him.

_{[AND THAT'S...ALL CIEL WILL SAY ON THE SUBJECT.]}

You can always take another room if you'd like.

[iudex]

["sometimes"

yeah ciel no...]

I've no need for another room. [sharp and quick. translation: i just won't sleep tonight.] Jack will be gone from it by morning.

[may.. be....]

[littlest_lord]

If you're certain...

The offer still stands, however.

[iudex]

[just. shaking his head.]

He would eventually follow no matter where I lay for the night. [it's just a feeling, but it's sure enough that he can say it and he can only remember a nervous jack making hand gestures and trying to discern what he should and shouldn't say around him.

jack was never this affectionate in his memory, never overly concerned for anyone who was not lacie.]

He's changed. [...] I never thought that I would see him as desperate as he was - and certainly never to find me.

[it's clear that oswald doesn't understand, can't compute, won't accept something. he knows he loves jack; he understood that much in somarium, but he could never figure out what kind of love it was. it bothers him to no end that jack would throw himself into his arms and cry and laugh and cling the way he had.

it hurts, still, when he thinks back on it.]

Was it wrong to come here?

[littlest_lord]

<sub>[So maybe he hadn't been expecting the question, but he does listen and listens with attentiveness. Ciel isn't surprised that Jack would follow Oswald wherever he went. In a way, Jack is no different than Alois in that aspect.

Ciel doesn't know much about Oswald, that much he'll admit - nothing more than mentions on paper and the short time he'd spent interacting with the man, Glen Baskerville. Jack had been equally attentive then, so that was no surprise he was equally as clingy now as he was then.

As for the change Jack had gone through? That much Ciel could attest to, especially after having read private things he probably shouldn't have. The man had put on an openly friendly front, but he had, over time, come to actually care for Alois and Ciel. Even if he hadn't written his feelings down his actions had made it apparent enough.]</sub>

I do not know what your relationship was like with Jack Vessalius, but whenever he has mentioned you it has always been with fondness. _{[Ciel was no idiot - it was painfully obvious Oswald was an important individual in Jack's life.]} Although he may be a fool...he has cared for Alois and I more than others cared to in the past. If it wasn't for his help I fear where we would have ended up in this city.

_{[There was a little shake of his head then, finally addressing the question head on.]}

I do not think it was the wrong choice. As you said, Jack is a desperate man. Desperate people do drastic things and if he was desperate when he found you then he would be even more so if you were to leave.

_{[And the last thing Ciel wants to deal with, on top of everything else, is a desperate Jack.]}

[iudex]

[he listens well, listens good, entertains the thought of jack speaking about him fondly. certainly he can believe that much. jack shows no signs being anything but fond of him, even if oswald might catch hints of something here and there.] Yes... I'm sure his 'keeping me in check' plays a part in it.

[does that sound bitter.

because it definitely was. jack is the one who needs to be kept in check. he's like slowly melting ice - oswald doesn't want to see him when he finally melts down.] Whether I leave or not...

[he trails off, shaking his head again. he and jack have no relationship; they are shaky friends at best. (at best, oswald would pull jack into his arms while he sleeps and kiss his forehead and hope he wakes up in somarium.)

it doesn't matter.

still, hearing that jack genuinely cared for someone other than lacie makes oswald - he doesn't know. he doesn't care.]

Even so, I would only hope that he cared for you and Alois.

You are his 'son', after all.