sirenspull_logs | Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?

Who: Jesse Pinkman & Alice Cullen
When: Early morning of September 5, 1918
Where: Near Jesse's shelter
Summary: Jesse wakes after the first Darkness to a grief-stricken Alice bearing devastating news.
Warnings: It's sad.

[Jesse spent that first night alone, separated from the others when he was caught off-guard by the sudden reappearance of the Darkness. It was easier, in a way, to find a place to hide when he was all on his own and didn't have to worry about sheltering anyone else. A tiny, deep cellar that felt too much like a grave had served him well, though he'd been forced to remain sitting with his knees drawn to his chest because there wasn't even room enough for his legs.

The light of dawn peeking through the cracks of the trapdoor above is enough to wake him from uneasy sleep. He's sore all over from being cramped into a tight space and eager to get above to fresh air, so he climbs up the ladder right away, struggles with the door until it budges, and then sprawls out on the grass. He spends his first few minutes just lying there and breathing deep. It smells like death out here, but at least it isn't claustrophobic earth. When he's sure there aren't still monsters roaming, he lets his eyes close and gives himself this moment of true rest and relief to soak in the sun.]

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[Alice doesn't go looking for him immediately, of course. She states with Jasper's body first, until it disipsted and she was finally, totally alone. She spent a lot of the night contemplating suicide, but from Carlisle's stories, she knew it wouldn't do her any good. Carlisle obviously wouldn't help, he would just tell her something entirely unhelpful like "he would want you to move on".

But she doesn't want to move on. She wants Jasper.

Jesse's her best bet at this point. He's more difficult to find than he would normally be. She's still covered in her mate's blood, and even dry it lights her throat on fire and keeps her mind off track. When she finally stumbles upon him, there's a sickening moment where she thinks him dead as well.Sprawled out on the ground like that, eyes closed-

Blessedly, he breathes. Oh thank god.]

[Jesse doesn't hear her approach over the howling of the wind and the way his head is pounding, like all the blood is rushing to it now that he's finally moved after so many hours. He could almost fall asleep here, it's so comfortable in comparison. But he's disturbed by the feeling that he's being watched, so he opens his eyes.

He catches sight of her in his peripheral vision and practically jumps to his feet. She's all bloody. Is it hers? Is it someone else's? The latter thought keeps him from rushing up to her.]

Alice?

[Suddenly, she's kneeling right there next to him. She's not even bothering to dampen down her otherworldliness anymore, she doesn't have the energy.]

He's dead, Jesse.

[He gets it immediately. No question who she's talking about. A second later he's joined her back on the ground, reaching to put his arms around her. He means to comfort her, but then - it hits him.]

Oh my god. No. No, no, no.

[It's his fault. If Jasper died, that's on him. Jesse made him human. He wouldn't be dead otherwise. Jesse knows it. His arms fall back away from Alice when he realizes it's probably the last thing she wants, to be touched by him.]

Jesus, no...

[It's probably best he doesn't touch her, he'd probably get his throat ripped out for his trouble. She's barely got control over anything, much less her thirst, and she hasn't eaten in days.

And, of course, there's that little voice deep, deep down inside that blames him. She'd instantly regret it, but as he already knows, vampires are a vengeful lot.]

The darkness got him. There was too much blood, I couldn't bite him in time....

[The misery that overwhelms him now drowns out any concern he might have had for his own well-being. He hugs himself instead of her, shaking and staring miserably at the ground. He made Jasper helpless. Defenseless. Jasper clearly died violently and all of that - that may as well have been done with Jesse's own hands. He doesn't know what to do to make it better now that it's done, so he just keeps repeating:]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

[Honestly, she's far too caught up in her grief to register his. On one level she sees it and feels for him, but her mate is dead and she has no more room for pain in her heart.]

I need you to take mine, too.

[She holds out a deceptively steady hand to him. ]

Please.

[That shocks him out of it, but he recoils when she reaches toward him.]

What? No, I can't - The Darkness is still - You'll die!

Good.

[In a fraction of a second she'd right up close, his hand in hers. She shudders, wonderful heat leaching into her hand and testing her cracked and fragile self control. He smells so good, she'd never noticed that before under all the sour-metallic chemical smell that usually clings to his skin. His fluttering pulse sends his scent off in little waves, hitting her nose just right. She can't help the venom pooling in her mouth.

It would be so easy. She could lean over just a little, take one tiny taste. The venom doesn't even hurt him, so it wouldn't be the end of the world...]

Edited 2013-01-21 05:23 (UTC)

[He tries to wrench away from her, but she's too strong. It's the same as it was with Jasper in the parking garage. His panic is rising, his eyes wide and pleading. He doesn't want to do the same thing to her. He killed Jasper. He can't kill her, too.]

Don't. Alice, don't make me...

[Her eyes flick up to his, only for a moment.]

Maybe not...

[The purple-blue veins are right there, fluttering just under the skin of his wrist. She leans forward, just the slightest bit, to better smell him.]

[He knows what she's thinking. He knows what she wants to do. That doesn't aid the decision, though. All it does is leave him weighing the value of his life against hers. His breath quickens, as does his heartbeat. He's shaking. Tears roll down his cheeks. He can't choose.]

Please. Don't...

[He's panicking, it's easy to tell from his pulse and his sweat. It doesn't bother her, though, not when her eyes are coal black and her stomach is empty.

It's been so long since she's had a proper taste of human blood. That man she bit months ago- Eddy, she thinks- barely counted, he got away so fast. Unfortunately, it'd been enough to turn her eyes and light her appetite on fire. If Jesse hadn't-

Jesse.

That knocks her out of her bloodlust pretty efficiently. She drops his hand from hers, slamming her other over her nose and mouth. If she can't smell him, he can't tempt her.]]

[As soon as she lets go of him, Jesse scrambles backwards, stumbling and kicking until there's at least ten feet between them. Then he collapses, panting and still trembling, back onto the dirt. He doesn't think there's really far enough that he can run if Alice is determined, so he gives up here. Curling up into himself, he buries his face in his hands and sobs.]

Why did you choose to lean on a man you knew was falling?

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jesse you precious little shit

sorry he's so manly and stoic