On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright.

[showbizpanache]

Who: Kurt and Blaine...no longer Klaine...sob
When: February 23
Where: Chuck's spare room at the HoA.
Summary: Kurt and Blaine finally reunite after shit went down.
Warnings: Talkin' about drugs and violence and stuff. Angst with a bit of hopefulness.



Honestly, Kurt was terrified.

The last time he'd seen Blaine was when he'd been crumpled on the floor, his face wet with tears and his hands sticky with blood. Numb with shock, he'd only been able to stare in disbelief at Blaine's retreating back, the denial sinking in before the anger had a chance to arrive.

And then the anger had been unleashed.

Though he felt truly guilty for what he'd said, his heart was dangling by a thread somewhere hollow, batted between genuine apology and sick resentment. He knew there was a part of him that could never really heal from the wounds that Blaine had inflicted so deeply on him--but after many years of righting wrongs and confronting the demons of the past, he'd discovered that forgiveness and compassion came far too easily to him. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a crippling flaw in character, either.

Despite the jarringly contradicting emotions raging in his heart, Kurt packed up another care package for Blaine nonetheless. He wasn't really making them as an apology, or as a way to convince Blaine that they should be together. At its core, it was a gesture of one human reaching out to help another, and that was all it really needed to be.

I'd do it for anyone, Kurt convinced himself as he carefully packed in a few of Blaine's favorite snacks along with the blanket he'd made and the books he'd bought--fantasy and romance, light and simple, a getaway--carefully boxing them up before heading to where he knew Blaine was staying.

It felt so strange, like he were visiting a stranger. It seemed impossible that he'd once been able to simply roll over in bed and see Blaine lying beside him, to approach him so easily.

It hurt. So much.

Standing at the door, he knocked several times, his heart drumming along his rib cage--still swinging between anger and forgiveness, regret and sympathy, bitterness and love.

Comments

[showbizpanache]

"I could make an announcement over the NV," Kurt offered, and he too was feeling a sense of loss. Ordinarily he'd be sitting on Blaine's lap, not a chair a few feet away from him. They never did like being too far away from one another, not since their death.

He kept his hands tightly knotted in his lap. "I think people will want to help. They responded so well to your post, after all."

Talking about Blaine's post made Kurt's stomach flop. He hadn't mentioned it to Blaine at all, but as soon as he'd read that the other boy had even entertained the notion of taking his own life, Kurt had pulled on his coat and ran halfway down the street toward the House of Awesome before he remembered that he couldn't make things all right for Blaine anymore.

He'd hid inside a coffee shop and cried instead.

[mediumdrip]

Blaine nodded. He had felt so touched by the way that people had responded to his post. He had been in such a dark place and having so many people stand up and tell him it would be okay had been something amazing. It reminded him that not everything here was bad.

"There's the possibility that what I experienced was just a side effect of my crash, you know," he said after a moment as he peered over at Kurt. He was embarrassed, and worried. "I don't want you to think that I'm in danger, okay? I'm okay and I'm getting better every day."

[showbizpanache]

"I can't turn off my worry," said Kurt simply, shrugging and staring down at his hands. "You know that. I'm a compete and total spazz."

[mediumdrip]

"You aren't a spaz, you just care," Blaine counters quietly. "Thank you for that..."

[showbizpanache]

Kurt just nodded, lingering there for another moment before getting quickly to his feet.

"Have you eaten?" he asked. "I can try and fix you something..." He began searching the cupboards, frowning at the lack of quality ingredients he found.

[mediumdrip]

"You don't have to," Blaine said after a moment. "I'm okay. Dr. Xavier and Chuck have been making sure that I eat."

He watched Kurt, brow up a bit. "I know that being around me has to make you tense, but you don't have to keep trying to take care of everything. My room doesn't need to be cleaned and I don't need someone to cook for me."

[showbizpanache]

From the feeble, shaking place it had climbed to, Kurt's heart fell. His hand slipped from where it had reached into the cupboard, falling limply down onto the counter.

"Right," he said softly, tears beading in his eyes. "I guess you're right."

[mediumdrip]

"Will you talk to me?" Blaine asked after a moment, wary. He knew he didn't have the right to push. "Please? Maybe if we talk we can fix things."

[showbizpanache]

"There's really nothing left to say, Blaine," Kurt replied, his voice soft and even. His fingers curled on the counter top.

"I'm just gonna go, okay? It's clear you don't need me here and I'd rather not rub salt in the wound."

[mediumdrip]

"I..." Blaine shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, okay? If you want to cook for me, you can. I..."

God, he just didn't to leave Kurt upset again. It was almost too painful.

[showbizpanache]

"I'm gonna go," he repeated, his voice sharp, and then he pulled himself together quickly. Turning around, he gave Blaine a very forced smile, holding back the tears that threatened to spill over. Just a few more seconds, he told himself. Then you can go cry on Rachel's lap and gorge on Ben & Jerry's for the rest of the night. Just be strong for him for a few more seconds.

"It's okay Blaine," he said encouragingly. "You need your rest. I'll make the announcement and we'll just--we'll go from there."

[mediumdrip]

Blaine was silent for a moment before a defeated expression crossed his face. He really didn't have the right to ask Kurt to stay, of course he didn't.

His arms crossed over his chest as he adopted a closed off posture. "Yeah, okay. Just be safe getting home. It's a little crazy out there today."