sirenspull_logs | " don't let one mistake keep us apart "

Entry tags:

" don't let one mistake keep us apart "

Who: Finn Hudson and Kurt Hummel
When: 1/28
Where: Kurt's apartment
Summary: For living so close, Finn doesn't visit his brother nearly enough. It's time to make an attempt at changing that
Warnings: None yet. Will be changed if it becomes necessary

Spinning the NV on his bed turned out to be significantly less entertaining than Finn had first anticipated, not that he thought it would be too entertaining in the first place. He'd actually been somewhat distracted since that evening, helping Kurt with the dishes. He thought for sure that Kurt was going to tell him about his problems (not that he'd been really ready to deal or help or whatever) but instead it ended up being a talk about the dangers of Siren's Port.

Did what Kurt say have something to do with Kurt, himself? If there was some kind of connection there, Finn sure as hell couldn't see it, himself. He was generally good at people and reading them, but Kurt gave him nothing. It would be frustrating if he wasn't already used to it from other people. Quinn had been awful for it.

With a frustrated sigh, Finn climbed to his feet and grabbed the NV, dropping it into his pocket. He needed a distraction from his distracting thoughts. Strangely enough, sitting in his room wasn't really helping anything. Singing, drumming on his knee, scribbling down a few lines of something that would probably never be a complete song (inspiration was a little hard to come by, surprisingly). None of it helped.

That was probably why he found himself outside of Kurt's apartment. Could have been that he was there to give his brother the third-degree about just what the hell was going on with him, or he could have been that he was simply looking for company. Quite frankly, there was no real plan in mind. Prying too much might have just been a little over the top, right? He'd never taken so much of an interest in Kurt's life before. He'd always had his own stuff to deal with. He was always a little more self involved than he'd like to admit.

Finn knocked on the door then shoved his hands into his pockets, shifting a little awkwardly from foot to foot as he waited.

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"Sometimes," Kurt explained, eyes focused on his food preparation. "The term au gratin indicates a dish topped with browned crust, like cheese or breadcrumbs. I'm sure you'd like this one if you gave it a chance."

He continued working silently for a moment before looking up at Finn once more. "So what brings you here? I'm guessing you're either looking for Rachel or you want something. Which is it?"

"Really? Mom always used to just throw cheese on things and call it au gratin." He shrugged his shoulders, still looking down over Kurt's shoulder. He actually stopped having much interest in what Kurt was doing some moments ago. It was never really something he paid much attention to at home either.

"What? Um, oh. I guess I just thought that maybe you might want some company or something?" He was actually the one who wanted the company, really.

Kurt blinked a few times, genuinely surprised by this. Besides their late-night 'lady chats', he and Finn barely ever hung out at home outside of Glee club. They were both too busy with their own lives, so tangled up in themselves that they tended to just walk by each other. Kurt knew deep in his heart that Finn was probably gravitating toward him out of homesickness, out of a need to cling to the familiar, but--it was still rather nice.

"I do," he said softly. "Um--thank you. Do you want something to drink?"

Edited 2012-01-29 07:29 (UTC)

Lady chats that Finn tried to anticipate so he could be doing something else that took up enough of his attention. Video games didn't really cut it as far as Kurt and his lady chats went. Finn just wasn't really into the whole gossip thing though, and that was just always what it felt like. Straight guys didn't really gossip. Well, there was talk and stuff in the locker room, but that wasn't really 'gossip' or anything.

Not only was it at least a little true that he was only there because Kurt was familiar, but there was also the fact that he felt more alone living with two other people than he figured he would if he lived by himself.

"No, thanks. I'm alright. And you don't have to make something different for me. I wouldn't mind trying some of that curry au gratin."

Laughing, Kurt nodded and continued cooking, oddly comfortable with Finn's presence in the kitchen with him. For the first time since he'd returned here from Lima, things began to feel like home.

"So...how are things with you and Rachel?" he asked after a comfortable pause, bringing a pot of water on the stove to boil. "Better, I hope?"

Funny how Finn just kind of radiated home. Of course, that could simply be because he hadn't been in Siren's Port long enough to get his head out of Lima. They probably just sensed that about him, or something equally dumb sounding like that.

"Things are definitely better with Rachel." He smiled to himself as he looked down at his feet. "At least I think they're better." They'd talked, like Kurt had suggested, and he was sure that they worked everything out. There were times, though, that Rachel seemed to have different opinions about things like that, so being completely positive about those things could be dangerous.

"Good," said Kurt lightly, with the air of someone who would slap Finn across the face if it weren't. He sighed as he put the rice on the boil and began chopping up onions and celery.

"If I start crying it's because of the onions," he informed his brother as he chopped. "I swear I'm in a better mood than last time we talked, though it's hard to stay happy here for very long."

Edited 2012-01-30 07:37 (UTC)

Finn might have once upon a time doubted that Kurt would do something like slap him if he started being too much of an idiot but he wasn't so sure about it anymore. Kurt was definitely different than Finn remembered. He seemed so much quieter, much more... well something that Finn couldn't quite put his finger on. Or maybe just something he didn't really have the expanded enough vocabulary to fully express.

"Something change from last time?" He expected Kurt to simply deflect again though. Or just give him some sort yes or no answer then move on with his day. Back in Lima, it was usually Kurt trying to talk to Finn. The tables certainly have turned.

"No," Kurt replied as predicted, tossing the chopped vegetables into the saucepan before grabbing a towel to dab at his eyes. He hated chopping onions.

He was quiet for a while. Honestly, he knew what Finn was trying to do, and he couldn't blame him. Kurt knew he'd changed, that he was an almost entirely different person now. Some silly part of him had thought he could shield Finn somehow from the horrors of Siren's Port, protect him from it all, but that was-- It was foolish. It didn't make any sense, and yet...

The pan began to sizzle and Kurt stirred it, using the brief moment to really think hard about this decision. If he told Finn everything, it would change so much--and yet, it was better that Finn finding out for himself, wasn't it?

It had to be. "Actually yes," he said after a long time. "I've thought about a few things."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was starting to become clearer and clearer that Finn was fighting a losing battle with Kurt. Not that he always let that stop him. He wouldn't still be playing for the Titans if he did, right? Probably would've given up on glee club too.

Finn should just back off, right? Let Kurt go to him if he wanted to talk? It was often the tactic Carole liked to use with Finn when he wouldn't talk about what was bothering him. Maybe it would work out a little better with Kurt. Or maybe Kurt would just see right through him.

So imagine Finn's surprise when Kurt actually changed his answer. He stared at Kurt, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, then shook his head, trying to do away with the deer in the headlights, dopey look on his face. "Really?"

Kurt was too anxious to be amused by Finn's dumbstruck expression, and he kept on cooking, the delicious smell of food spreading throughout the kitchen. He cast about for a place to begin, sifting through each event to try and find the most pertinent, the most applicable to what he'd warned Finn about-- But honestly, it was impossible to pick just one.

He sighed. "I've been here since June of last year," he said softly when he finally decided to open his mouth again. "I know it seems like you only saw me a little while ago, but the truth is... I'm really different from the Kurt you know, Finn. And...I'm pretty sure you realize that."

Finn was anxious too, but for different reasons. He wanted Kurt to keep going, to prod him for more information, but he didn't want Kurt to just clam up again. So he stood awkwardly, hands in his pockets, shifting back and forth from foot to foot as he let his mind wander. It was easier to keep himself from hassling Kurt for answers that way. Football plays, the snow stor-- no, he had to stay away from that. That brought him back to Kurt. So, football plays, Rachel, the way Rachel's hair smelled when he got to--

There was a split second between realizing that Kurt was talking and actually hearing the words. Finn blinked a few times, forcing himself to focus. Getting Kurt to actually talk to him and then not listening would kind of be a dick move. "I noticed that you're different, yeah. Normally you'd be all over me to tell you about my day and, like, dreams for the future and all that weird stuff. Now you're kinda more like a dude, you know? No offense or anything, 'cause it's not like I'm trying to call you a chick or anything. You just like to talk about the kinds of things that most guys don't. I know that's not the only thing different about you, but that's kinda the one that made me start noticing."

Ordinarily a comment like that would raise Kurt's hackles, but he was so accustomed by Finn-speak at this point that it simply rolled off his shoulders. He stirred the vegetables, nodding once Finn was finished talking.

"So," he said softly as he whisked more ingredients into the saucepan. "I guess this is the part where you start asking questions and I start answering them."

Everything that Finn said should never be taken literally. It was the underlying message that really mattered. Finn never really could manage to figure out how to make words work in his favor. He moved a little closer to the stove to better see what Kurt was doing. It was a momentary distraction, while he figured out just what he wanted to ask about. Where should he even start? The better question was, would Kurt actually answer or would he just start deflecting again?

Kurt," he started, then paused to rethink his question. "What happened that changed you so much?"

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific than that," said Kurt as he stirred the ingredients over the stove. "I wasn't kidding when I said that a lot has happened. I'm only going to talk about it now, so ask whatever you want to."

"Okay, okay. Um," he says in a bit of a rush, moving to stand in front of the kitchen counter (where he hoped he wouldn't be in Kurt's way), leaning back against it with his arms folded across his chest. He racked his brain for the perfect place to start asking questions. "You mentioned something about this place making people do things that they usually wouldn't do. Was that like a... talking from experience kinda thing?"

Kurt sighed heavily and set down his spatula. "Yes," he said softly. "It happened several months ago, but it seems to be coming up more and more lately. I suppose that's a decent enough place to start."

He lifted up the lid on the cooking pot to check on the rice, stirring it a few times. "Something happened here that drastically altered my personality. It was like--a drug, some sort of mind-altering substance... I don't quite understand it even now. It only lasted one night, but the fallout was disastrous."

Sighing, he was still for a moment while everything cooked around him. "I ended up having sex with Blaine for the first time without wanting to. There, I said it."

The mention of Kurt having sex with Blaine made Finn visibly uncomfortable but he tried to shake it off. It wasn't his own comfort that was important just then, but it would help. He pushed himself away from the counter and paced back and forth and back then he paused and turned toward Kurt. "Kurt, what do you mean you had-- What do you mean by without wanting to?" It didn't sound like the time for Finn to start assuming about details.

"I meant exactly what I said," Kurt replied testily, not looking at Finn. "Next question, please. We have a lot to cover."

"And we're probably not gonna cover most of it because I have to ask the questions and I don't know what to ask." He was starting to get frustrated already, though that could simply be because what he'd just been told was a little hard to swallow. Frustration, anger, it was a little easier than... than whatever else he possibly should be feeling. Maybe he should talk to Blaine too. "So, why don't you just start at the beginning or something."

"I started with that because it's what Blaine and I were fighting about," said Kurt, just as frustrated. "It always comes up, and it never seems to go away, so--it's relevant. He still blames himself, and I'm still not sure how to feel about it after all this time, so--so that's that."

He continued cooking, stirring with renewed vigor. "And the funny thing is that's not even the craziest thing the Core has pulled. People come and go randomly, you know that? Sometimes they die horribly and show up again, or else just disappear... And you know about the superpowers, right?"

There was nothing but silence for a while on Finn's side of the conversation. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to react. It wasn't like there actually was anything to say about it. He could definitely see it leading to him eventually cornering Blaine though, maybe seeing if there was anything that Kurt was leaving out.

"Um, yeah. I know about those things. They've been sorta mentioned to me before. But what do you mean the Blaine thing isn't even the craziest?"

"My powers are...quite unique," said Kurt, relieved they'd jumped topics yet dreading this one all the same. "They involve my singing voice. Depending on the mood I'm in, I can either heal wounds or cause them."

He leaned back as everything cooked, taking a breath. "It lends itself to accidents, as you might imagine. And it also has severe side effects. They landed me in the hospital for quite a while, actually."

A pause. "And, er, jail."

Finn was silent as he listened to Kurt, slipping his hands into his pockets and looking down at his feet. Normally, it was a sign that his self-esteem was particularly low that day or that he was feeling a little uncomfortable about something. This time, it was mostly because he just didn't know what to say. And because he was surprised. He wasn't sure how to react. That Kurt was in the hospital was concerning enough, but jail? "What kind of severe side effects?" He glanced at Kurt only after asking his own question. Seemed like a simply enough place to start with this, right?

"Exhaustion," Kurt explained. "Dizziness. Headaches. I get extremely cold, and sometimes I cough up blood." He took note of Finn's discomfort, but it was nothing he hadn't expected. This was a lot to swallow, after all, but Kurt had to do it all at once. If he didn't he would never talk about it again.

"Anyway, they...they've caused me a bit of trouble. I'd rather not go into detail with either case, but-- It's important that you know that about me. As for going to jail... It was really an elaborate accident, so you don't need to worry. I haven't turned into a homicidal maniac or anything."

There. That ruled out that subject and now there was only one more left. Unfortunately, it was the one Kurt was most reluctant to talk about. He stepped forward to check on the rice again, stalling for time.

It was a lot to take in, yes, but Finn would have time enough to sift through it all and better understand it later. Kurt did say that this would be his only chance to hear any of this right? He watched Kurt until his brother grew silent again, then his gaze dropped back to the floor. It was as though it gave him a chance to start processing the information before Kurt started anew, or before he was prompted to ask another question. "Elaborate... whatever or not, I still wanna know what you did to land you in jail, Kurt."

Kurt sighed; he'd hoped he wouldn't have to go into detail about this, but it had been fairly naive of him to assume that he wouldn't.

"It was an accident," he reiterated. "I was..." He sighed. "Have you heard anything about AGI, Finn?"

Finn had been getting Kurt to go into detail about everything else he could think of (or did think of), so why wouldn't he want more details about this too? His brows furrowed and his stomach turned at the mere thought of Kurt having anything to do with either of those corporations. He hadn't exactly heard much about them, but the things he did hear were less than positive. "Yeah. Yeah, Tim told me a bit about it when I first got here."

"Well-- Anything you've heard, the reality is worse." Kurt's tone changed from conversational to dark, and he determinedly looked away from Finn as he spoke. "They run a human trafficking industry. A very prolific one, and it's not even under the radar. It's a business, like--like an oil rig or something. It's their pride and joy."

He practically bared his teeth as he prepared the casserole, looking less irritated and more genuinely angry. "If you somehow ended up in one of their clubs, and saw all of those people gathered around for a good time with their slaves--what would you do?"

Shaking a little, he shoved the prepared casserole in the oven a bit too hard, causing a loud noise to echo through the kitchen. He didn't want to mention Yaha or what the slave had done to him--that would negate his point entirely. Besides, he wasn't precisely keen on bringing that up again.

"I got angry and lost control of my powers. Several of the clients were damaged, but honestly, can you blame me?" He straightened up, tugging off his oven mitts and tossing them on the counter.

Finn stared evenly at his brother, his feet no longer holding his interest quite like they had been. It was harder than he thought to not react to every thing Kurt was saying. It was hard to keep himself from answering that first question (he'd started to answer it but then he realized that it was probably one of those rhetorical questions). His hands balled into fists at his sides, expecting Kurt to say something about getting caught up in all of it in the worst possible way.

"What were you even doing around any of that, Kurt?" He sounded angrier than he intended or probably even had the right to, but it was difficult not to. This was his brother. This was the very brother he said he'd look out for, yet hadn't been here for when maybe he was needed the most. So his anger was probably directed more toward himself than anything. The things that Kurt was telling him about just acted as good outlets for it.

That--was a bit trickier to answer. Kurt leaned back against the sink, sighing; he almost wished he'd just kept quiet about the whole thing, just allowed this to be a completely harmless drama-free visit--

Like anything in my life is drama-free, he thought, and almost smiled as he thought of what Rachel might say to that. 'We're theatre people, Kurt. We experience feelings stronger and more intense then other people, because that's how we make ourselves better at our craft.'

"I was...tricked into going," he replied at last. "By one of the slaves. He was-- He didn't deserve to be enslaved, no one does, but..." He bit his lip. "He wasn't a good person. Anyway, he's dead now, so that's the end of that."

Except that Finn probably would have started asking questions all over again, trying to get information that Kurt just didn't share with him that first night of the snow storm. He may not be able to spell 'Mississippi' but he could tell when something was wrong with someone. He was a little more intuitive than most people gave him credit for. He often blamed that on growing up with just his mom. Chicks liked to play those dumb mind games after all. Even moms.

Finn's brows furrowed and he shook his head. Bad person or not, hearing Kurt talk about someone dying so casually made his skin crawl. He understood that Kurt had changed in the however long he said he was here, but still. "No, dude, I don't think that is the end of that."

"Well, I'm trying to squeeze in a lot here," Kurt snapped, then sighed, his voice softening. "What precisely do you need me to elaborate upon? Yaha died and the world lost another scumbag, and not a single metaphorical fuck was given that day."

He walked over to the oven to check on the casserole, but it was more to give himself something to do.

"Then you could've told me some of this when I first started asking," Finn snapped back, more frustrated with Kurt than angry, really. He never should have asked. He should have just left well enough alone. It was just too bad that he realized too late that he really didn't want to know any of this. Too late to turn back though. "Whatever. Is there anything else you haven't told me yet?"

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" don't let one mistake keep us apart "

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