sirenspull_logs | Memory is a fickle thing

Entry tags:

namine,
roxas

Memory is a fickle thing

Who: Roxas and Namine
When: Backdated to Sunday, March 25
Where: The Apartment That Never Was
Summary: Roxas has finally figured out some memories aren't right and headed to the expert.

[Roxas didn't want to do this—he'd rather go on pretending nothing was out of the ordinary. He'd done pretty well at that all week, up to the end of their very nice birthday party.

But it was a big deal, and it wasn't his imagination. Something was wrong with his memories. And he wasn't sure he wanted to know what had caused it.

Once he was sure that Joe and Xion were elsewhere, he knocked on the girls' bedroom door.]

Namine? Are you busy?

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[She was busy, but after spending so much time staring at math equations that weren't making sense, a break would definitely be nice.

Though it's a bit curious and strange that Roxas would knock on their door rather than just come in. She gets up from her desk to greet him, thinking that something serious must have happened. Something important.]

No, I'm not right now. What is it?

[But she could be changing!!!

He carefully shuts the door behind him. No one else needs to hear this.]

Hey, um...I was wondering if I could talk to you about...a problem.

[Oh please. What kind of a girl just randomly changes clothes in the middle of the day. Not the one that's been wearing the same dress for over a year.

She steps aside to offer him her desk chair and instead seats herself on the bed so they can face each other.]

...What's wrong?

[He drops into the chair, his shoulders looking like they're somehow carrying something heavy now that he's finally speaking up.]

There's something...I didn't believe anything was wrong at first. I figured I just needed to sleep more or something. But I talked to Axel and—

I think there's something wrong with my memory.

...Wrong?

[There's only a small frown on her face from that. She doesn't want to panic in front of him, but she definitely doesn't like the idea of someone messing around with the memories of her friends.

She swallows hard.]

Do you want me to check if it is?

I was talking to Ahiru and I remember her telling me—uh, something...but she says it was something else. And I went skateboarding the other day and just couldn't do it. And I ran into Xemnas the other day and I forgot his name.

[It all sounds pretty bad put together like that. How could he have believed it was no big deal?]

I'm afraid...what if it's something to do with Xion, again?

[Forget her panicking; Roxas was doing enough of that on his own. She gets up to stand by his side and puts a hand gently on his shoulder for support.]

I'm sure it has nothing to do with Xion. If it did... [No, wait. wrong choice of words.] You've been here long enough, and so has Xion. Why something happen now if it is?

...It could be something else.

[He's got it covered on his own, Nobody-sister. He jerks slightly at the touch of her hand, already half-lost in his own fears.]

I don't know. I don't know why it would happen at all. But I don't know what it would be.

[She slips her hand off him with that jerk, and bends down to sit on her knees in front of him.]

If something was happening between you two, Xion would know about it too. She hasn't come to you about anything has she? It might not be her then.

No. She hasn't.

[His voice is very quiet. Part of him isn't really here—it's on another world, in another time, with a friend dying in his arms.]

Then it isn't her, Roxas.

[Of course, Xion's had a tendency to hide things, but at the very least this gives Namine the heads up to keep an eye on her in case things to change.]

If you don't mind, I can look into your memories and see what's missing to fix. But... you shouldn't worry. I think Xion will be okay, and you will too. Okay?

[He just shrugs. Logically, he knows it isn't—shouldn't be—Xion. But the fear sits in his gut like a sickness, and he can't shake it until he knows what did cause it.]

Do it. I want to know.

[She nods, slowly moving her hand to rest gently on his.]

Alright. Do you want me to check now? Or, maybe when you go to sleep?

[Because it might be easier for the both of them when he's asleep.]

[He tenses, unsure what exactly she'll do to check, but only a little.

He trusts her.]

Go ahead. I don't think I'll be able to sleep easily until I know.

I had a feeling you'd say that. [But she still wanted to leave the option open.]

Ready?

[Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes to focus and draw on her power. She was getting better at it and not having to use her sketchbook as a medium. Besides, from what he said, it didn't seem like Roxas was missing anything super vital.

She'll keep her hand on his though as she begins to look through the memories and chains. Finding Roxas' was easy enough, and knowing what was missing helped in looking for the holes, but it might still take a while to go through his memories and add them correctly.

She opens her eyes to look at him in the eye.] Let me know... if you get comfortable, okay?

I'm ready.

[He isn't—not really. At the same time, he has to be. His memories have been disturbed and distorted before, and the last thing he ever wants is for it to happen again. If it already has...he has to know how to deal with it.]

I will.

It shouldn't hurt. [Just be uncomfortable and probably very weird and maybe causes a headache, but she wants to reassure him in any way possible.

She starts with Xemnas first. It's simple and easy to just reinsert a name, considering that it's a very different situation than Kairi and others experienced with Sora. It just takes a bit longer to go through the memories and links year he spent at home, and the time he's had in the port as well.

When she thinks she's done enough for that...] How is that? Do you remember his name now?

[His head snaps up as the name flows into mind. Xemnas. His former boss's name was Xemnas.

Well, of course it was. How could he forget it? But he had.]

How did you do that?

[Good, it stuck. She was a little worried it might not with him awake.

She frowns for just a small moment. No one's ever asked her how she's done it before, just that she has.]

I just... do. I don't know if I could explain it properly. [Or if she wants to explain it at all. What would he say or think if she said she could see almost everything that's happened to him or others? It's such an invasive ability.]

Okay.

[He shakes his head slightly, almost more of a shiver. But the name is still there, and it's not going anywhere.]

So...something was missing, wasn't it?

[She nods her head slowly.]

Mmm. It was like... someone took the name out of your memories. Like they just removed the link to it. Though, and why... I don't know.

[And it visibly upsets her that there's someone out there, potentially messing with other people or gathering info on Nobodies. But there's more pressing matters.]

Want me to continue?

Yes. I wanna know if anything else is missing. Or changed.

[Because he clearly can't tell himself until he stumbles upon it. And his memories are too precious to leave to chance like that.]

You can look as long as it takes.

[She nods, giving his hand a little squeeze.] Okay.

[Reinserting a skill is a little more difficult than just a name, but a secret or something was easier. One little link, but now that his memories are changed and she hadn't looked at them before, she's a little stumped.]

About that... something with Ahiru, did she correct you on it?

[He squeezes back, a little surprised but grateful for the show of support.]

Yes. But I still remember what she told me the first time, only now she says that's wrong.

I'll need to know what it really was in order to fix it. What she said was correct.

[He hesitates for a long moment.]

You can't tell anyone, okay? It was a secret.

[She nods.]

I promise, Roxas.

Okay.

[He trusts her.]

She said she's a duck. But I remember her saying she's a goose.

[A duck.

How is this weird they know a talking duck from back home! Clearly Ahiru must be a wizard like Donald or something.

Nope. This little girl isn't going to judge. There's been worse and stranger things to happen.]

Alright. Thank you, Roxas.

[And it's a simple and quick little fix! Just taking out one link and putting a different one in.]

[He doesn't see the issue either but hey, not his duckhood, not his call.]

I don't know if there's anything else. There might be.

I'll keep looking as I go.

[Skateboarding though, that was the other one he mentioned. She frowns.]

This... could get a little more uncomfortable, and take a little longer. [Inserting a skill was more difficult, and she knows that he's fond of skateboarding. All she has to do is find the right pieces and put them in, but there's quite a bit compared to a name or a word.]

I can take it. I'm tough.

[He smiles wryly, though they both know there's nothing to smile about.]

[It still makes her smile though. She appreciates his sentiments, and the good humour.

This one definitely takes longer. At least half an hour goes by. The memories that are missing are so ingrained in him, and finding the holes and replacing the right links isn't easy.

She sighs ten minutes later, blinking her eyes. She hadn't kept track of time, but she's got about a handful of months of memories left to go through.

She had forgotten how exhausting this was.]

[It takes a while for Roxas to become alert again when Namine makes a sighing sound. He'd thought he wouldn't sleep, but sitting here while she pieced together tiny pieces of tampered memories felt like a dream on its own.

He wonders, very briefly, if this is what it felt like for Sora when he went to sleep. But before he can swell on that, he lifts his head and tries to shake some of the cobwebs free.]

I think it worked.

[She was rubbing her eyes before he spoke, and smiles at him. But no no, Roxas. She shakes he head.]

Sorry. I'm not entirely done. There's just a little bit left.

I'm sorry it's taking so long.

It's okay. I just want to be myself again.

Can you...is there a way to know who did this?

I... I dunno. [The thought occurred to her, but so far she hasn't seen anyone out of the ordinary in his memories to pinpoint a culprit.]

...I'm not sure if I can. Things are different here, and their abilities might work differently than mine.

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Memory is a fickle thing

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