sirenspull_logs

Entry tags:

OPEN!

Who:Yosuke and anyone who feels like hanging out in the park.
When:Any time between him getting tossed in the clinker and kicked back out. So, during the first half of the month of May.
Where:The park! Or a city street. Anywhere there might be some trash that needs picking up by delinquents kids.
Summary:If you've ever wanted an excuse to have your character bump into him, here's a good one? Hah, I don't know. He's just going to pick up trash and whine about it. Maybe accidentally uncover a snake and squeal like a little girl. Nothing very heavy going on here right now.
Warnings:Orange jumpsuits, ankle bracelets, and lots of complaining about being made to do actual hard work. Possibly trying to barter a soda off someone or something dumb like that. But no real warnings!
OOC note:I posted something for visiting him on the inside before and then realized it was hard for people without close CR to tag (sorry guys I'm dumb) so I asked if it would be cool to post one that was similar but more inclusive to everyone. Good news, it got the okay, and here it is!

Prose and [action] tags are both fine by me!

It's not a bad day out. The wind is whipping things around a bit, but the sun is shining for once. It's bright and clear and aside from being a little chilly for mid spring, it's not bad out at all. The birds are singing in the trees, there are flowers rustling in the breeze, and there are plenty of kids at play dropping juice boxes in the grass.

A daydreamy looking kid is standing around in an ugly jumpsuit, occasionally picking up a bit of litter and tossing it into a sack. But he's mostly just looking around at everything like he's never seen it before.

To people who know him, the lack of headphones might be a little startling. But to pretty much anyone else he just looks like a normal kid. Who happens to have a number printed on his clothing. And a tracking collar around his ankle. And an odd sort of fondness for the dapples the leaves make on the back of his hands when he holds them up under the light.

He'd probably be about the last guy you'd expect to steal your car. But that's exactly why he's picking up trash today. Go figure, huh?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yosuke smiles when he sees Nill, a lot more relieved than he'd prefer to let on. Unfortunately, given their last meeting, he's pretty sure she can probably tell. He flushes a little, but still waves her over enthusiastically.]

Hey. The weather is finally getting better, huh?

[She can tell, but she smiles at him anyway. At his comment she glances at the sky, her expression brightening. It really has gotten nicer. She's glad for it - she loves it when it gets warmer here.

She pauses to pull out her NV.]

I'm sorry I didn't visit you. It isn't a place I can go to easily. [You know, being prison and all. Bit too much negativity for her.]

[Before he can stop it, a rush of something bitter bounces between them. Resentment, anxiety, fear, loneliness. Yosuke tugs it back to his side of the emotional barrier a little too late and a little too forcefully. He sighs, but musters up a smile and a lie for her anyway.]

It's fine. I haven't even been there very long.

[It's been lifetimes. And no one came at all. Gilbert is probably still pissed at him. Souji probably doesn't even know, because all of his other friends will do anything to avoid talking to the guy. Keigo's probably forgotten he ever existed in the first place, and he'd be too chicken to go anyway. Shika...well. He hadn't expected Shika to come, anyway. Why would he? Yosuke was unhappy, but he wasn't in danger, aside from a few perverts. There was nothing to save him from this time.]

[Yosuke caught himself feeling sorry for himself and cringed. That was probably loud and clear, too. He rubbed his face and threw Nill an apologetic glance. He'd never realized until someone else had access to his head, but he really never shut up in there at all.]

Sorry. It's fine. Really. I would have just tried to make you bring me a soda and thought awkward things at you anyway, right? You didn't miss out.

[She'd actually expected something like those emotions, so they don't surprise her very much.

What does surprise her, however, is the fact that those emotions aren't all directed at just her, and that... he's just been alone. No one came? Not a single person? For a moment anger and her own bitterness wells up in her chest, because how dare Souji be around and not visit, if he was so important how could he not? But it's shoved down, because that isn't fair and she knows it, because she's not angry at anyone else. Souji just... still brings out the worst in her, sometimes.

Without really thinking about it, Nill reaches over to lightly touch his arm, offering her own apologetic look. She was sorry. Really she was. If she'd known he was that alone she would have tried to visit.

And he really worries about the stuff in his head too much. Pretty much everyone is always thinking, it's just how people do things.]

Maybe not. But I missed you.

[He doesn't catch the surprise in time, but whatever follows it he reigns in like his life depends on it. He pulls back so hard that his eyes go blank in the same way they do with tough customers, and the smile slaps itself up on his face this time. A reflex. For a moment, he forgets to breathe. Then, just as quickly, he shakes it all off and besides a lingering, nervous tingle there isn't much to notice. When the blankness fades from his eyes, he averts them.]

Sorry about that. I don't even know how it happened. I just sort of...did it, you know? I'll try to behave, though. Maybe they'll let me out sooner.

[Nill isn't really sure what to make of that. She blinks at first, because whatever it is that's happening happens so fast that her brain can't really keep up with it. It's just this enormous sense of him shutting absolutely everything down.]

...Yosuke?

[She leans a little closer, trying to meet his eyes when he looks away. But then she goes back to the NV, because unfortunately it's safer in public.]

It's okay. Just try to take care of yourself.

[He glances at the NV briefly, but still doesn't meet her eyes for the moment.]

That's no trouble. They feed me every day and make sure I get my exercise.

[He holds the trash sack up and rolls his eyes a little, self effacingly.]

[That actually makes Nill frown a little. She pauses a moment, before her wings extend behind her. The NV gets stuffed into her pocket, and then she reaches up to pinch Yosuke's arm.]

Look at me.

[He hesitates. Whatever is in his eyes at the moment, he doesn't want her to see it. And it's such hard work to try and keep his mind occupied enough that he doesn't accidentally slip up and think the things he's not saying at her, trying to clear his eyes too is just mentally and emotionally tiresome. After a long moment, he gives up.]

[There aren't tears this time, the way there were that day in the stairwell -he's still so ashamed of himself for that- but there is a sheen of something suspicious that wants to be tears. He won't let it, though. Hell no. No way.]

[He's angry, and he's worried, and he's humiliated, and worst of all, he's lonely. He's pretty sure she doesn't even have to cheat and read his mind. It's all over his face.]

[He glances away again and sits down, dejected. She probably had something important to tell him. That's usually why people ask you to look at them. But he isn't sure if he can hear it right now. Last time she told him something important, he reacted badly. Weak, pathetic, stupid...uncool. He needs to steel for it, should have done that right away instead of acting on impulse again. He just needs to learn how to think under pressure.]

[Shit. She's still waiting on him, isn't she? Shit.]

I'm listening, Nill-s, ah.

[It's always kind of upsetting, how telling Yosuke's thoughts are and yet how little she actually manages to get from them. So many emotions that Nill doesn't know what to do with, even though she has small ideas of what they mean. It's worse now that he's trying to hide his thoughts from her.

She crouches down beside him when he sits, mindful of her skirt, and waits quietly for him to get himself together to where he feels comfortable. It makes the fact that no one had visited him all the worse, seeing how lonely he was. She should have tried... She should have done something, anything, but she didn't.

Gently,] Nill.

...I'm sorry. We don't do a very good job of showing it, do we?

[He tries to work up a smile for her, but it doesn't feel right on his face. It twitches a little in the corner of his mouth. He gives up, and decides not to turn his face over to her after all.]

[What does she mean, anyway? Is it what he thinks? If it is...he wants to trust that. Something in his chest gives a leap at the thought, but he shoves impatiently at that, too. It sinks down into his stomach and sits there heavily. People don't like him. He knows that. It doesn't matter, right? Maybe it's always that way. Maybe no one ever likes anyone at all. Maybe people just...lie.]

[Somehow, that thought isn't reassuring, either. It's depressing. That heaviness in his stomach feels worse. Like he's swallowed a rock, and it's just sitting there, refusing to break down in all the acid his stomach seems to be full of lately. He sighs.]

[But he's not going to say something lousy like that to Nill. He's heard enough from her, make that read enough...maybe heard a bit...anyway, that isn't the point. The point is, she needs to hear something good, instead. He mulls it over for a minute before he opens his mouth, but only briefly. Still, it's a step that he doesn't always take. He's trying.]

You made me lie down when I felt sick. And you let me paint the sky for you. Uh, I promise I'll finish that soon. Even though my neck is still sore from the first day.

[He rubs at it, teasing her. But finally, there's a twitching that wants to be a smile, instead of the other way around. It doesn't quite make it, though. He should have thought a bit harder before opening his mouth, because the next thing that comes out is bitter.]

You slam a lot of doors in my face, but I think you mean well. Everyone around here is always trying to protect me, right? Save me from whatever happened to that guy who was here before. But you don't have to do that, now. He's dead. He's definitely dead. So you shouldn't waste your time.

[Nill doesn't understand why he never trusts it. Every time she says something, for a moment it sounds like it sinks in... but every time he shoves that little sliver of something good down and away, far from where he can see it. Why? Why couldn't he just accept it? Why was it so difficult for him to want to be happy?

At the mention of the sky, though, Nill smiles; the expression is soft and gentle, settling naturally on her face. And happy. Very happy.]

I love it. [Even if it wasn't finished, and she wants to giggle at the teasing. She really did love it, more than words could describe. Just the sentiment behind it was enough to make her so happy.]

[But... that expression fades much too quickly as he says that, and Nill's fingers curl lightly in her skirt.

She can't explain why that makes her chest ache - is it the mention of her senpai, or the idea that she'd slammed doors in his face? Did he even mean her, or other people? Still, it hurts.]

I know he's dead. He died a long time ago.

[Her wings fold in closer to her back, and Nill looks to the ground, occupying her eyesight with a bug.]

That doesn't mean there aren't terrible things out there that you should be protected from.

Things have already tried to eat me. Souji-

[But he stops himself, there. Remembering the rage that Souji's name put Shika in when he was confused that time...no, not confused. On drugs, that-eurgh. That stuff made out of blood.]

[He's not sure how Nill feels about Souji, but it's probably better to leave his name out of this conversation.]

...Sorry. I didn't mean to, uh. About...I know he was your friend. That was kind of-I just.

[Yosuke sighs, and runs his hands through his hair. He still hates being treated like a kid, but snapping at Nill about it isn't going to help. He shakes his head.]

I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to help people. You'll see.

[Souji. Nill's lips thin into a flat line at the mention of his name, and her fingers curl more tightly in her skirt.

She knows-- she knows the mention of him shouldn't upset her. That he was important, and maybe even a good friend for Yosuke. But she's still so bitter when it comes to him that even if she wants to just let go of it, she can't.]

It's fine. I know you didn't mean anything by it.

[Just trying to prove a point, probably.]

Then why won't you let us help you? [You couldn't help others without accepting help, too. That didn't make sense.]

I was! Shika was helping! Before...uh.

[Another sigh. He shrugs his shoulders, unhappily.]

Before he had to stop. We were training together. But I...he...

[Nope, still not done with the sighing. Yosuke rubs his face.]

I messed up.

[Ah.

As much as Nill would like to convince herself that Shika has no faults, she knows all too well that he has quite a few of them, and even more issues than faults when it comes to Yosuke - Just the fact that this Yosuke actually cared probably made them all the worse.

Nill doesn't say that, though. She just shakes her head.]

It wasn't your fault.

You don't even know what I did.

[Quiet, miserable. But he can't think of a way to tell her without tattling on Shika, too. So he doesn't.]

[Nill shakes her head again, though this time she offers nothing to go with it. It's fine. It doesn't matter. Some things, she knows, are Yosuke's fault; things he does that are just inherently stupid, but... for every stupid thing that Yosuke's done, Shika has his own issues to act on as well. If it involved the two of them, there was just as much a chance it was Shika's fault as it was Yosuke's.]

Well...if you see him, tell him I'm sorry about that, anyway. I tried to say something before, but it keeps getting caught in my throat.

[He shrugs, then gently reaches over and brushes a finger across one of the feather's on Nill's wingtip. That makes him smile, at least. He doesn't have any thoughts about it being intrusive, of course. He just thinks that it feels nice. Soft. Inviting. Girly.]

And I'll definitely finish your sky when they let me out, okay?

I will. [And she nods as well, because this whole talking to himself thing probably looks strange to anyone that's been paying attention.

But... oh. Her feathers. It wasn't the first time he'd touched them, but she really hadn't given it much thought before. This time, however, it makes her cheeks turn pink.

Despite that though, she manages a slight, if somewhat embarrassed smile.]

I can't wait.

[Yosuke doesn't know why Nill is blushing, but he flushes just slightly in return. It's nice. The pink cheeks look good on her. That funny, warm feeling stirs in his stomach again, and he rubs it. Breakfast must have been off that morning, or something.]

Maybe you can help me decide how to paint my place when I get back to it.

I'd like to. [A wider smile, this time; the blush fades, but doesn't leave her face entirely.]

It should be something bright.

As long as it's not orange.

[She considers keeping up the "vocal" part of the conversation, but if anyone was actually watching there's no way this would look like he was gleaning her answers from her expression or movements. So though she's enjoyed it, she pulls out the NV again.]

I don't think orange would suit you.

Don't you like orange, though?

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