Well, I don't know if all that's true, 'cause you got me and baby, I got you...

[uberboned]

Who: Gabriel, Jinx, and their friends and family.
When: Friday the 13th, before sirens.
Where: A park that has been shamelessly borrowed for this event.
Summary: JINX AND GABRIEL ARE GETTING MARRIED.
Warnings: Schmoop.

[Friday the 13th is a day of preventing bad luck from finding you- and it will find you, somehow. But for an unlucky little lady who has been a staple of Siren's Port for a few years, it's her luckiest day, so what better day for her wedding?

A small park has been rented for the occasion with a combination of Jinx's charms and her pocketbook and it's really anyone's guess which one won out. Lines of chairs form the aisles, draped in purple, black, green, and offset by red roses everywhere. Rather than a carpet for the bride to walk down, the grass seems to be covered in a blanket of soft rose petals. 

Let's just say if you wanted roses today, you're out of luck.

The reception area stands off to the side, offset by dozens upon dozens of ice swans and... for some reason a living elephant also decked in purple and black. Jinx wanted one. The zoo obliged. The end.

And where there should be an organ, there's a harpist. The groom, standing up at the front of the makeshift altar with the king of Hell on his left and a Prophet of the Lord at his right, looks as smug as the cat who caught the canary- or, more appropriately, the canary who charmed the cat- and despite the few stage whispers of "Yes, Chuck, it's too late to make this a Jewish wedding", all is well.

And when the harpist starts playing "Stairway to Heaven," it begins.]

Comments

for gabriel and chuck

[paterelohim]

[It's the eleventh hour, just before he and Gabriel have to walk out and stand at the head of that aisle. Jinx is off somewhere being fussed over, no doubt, by her bridesmaids and putting the final touches on her makeup.

Chuck knocks on the dressing room (or whatever that room is) door softly.]

Gabriel? You decent?

[madeinoblivion]

[Is a rickroll worth 75 bucks? You bet it is!

So Joe just thumbs through his library till he finds the Astley/Nirvana mashup, and shakes the tip jar pointedly with nod.]

...Am I dedicating it to anybody?

[momchester]

[Mary is going along with him happily. She abandoned her tux jacket a long time ago, having nearly overheated in it.]

If you can keep up.

[She's full of food, liquor, and in her case prescription-grade antidepressants that are, oddly enough, doing wonders for her, ahem, drive to do things like dance with her husband while wearing fishnets.]

[paterelohim]

[He pulls out his wallet and hands over a fifty and twenty, true to his word.]

Yeah- Crowley.

[pullsheavendown]

Hey.

[Roxas wanders over partway into the reception, once people are relaxing. Hello, fellow member of the bridal party.]

Where'd you get the ice cream?

[integrity]

[If you ask Crowley to do anything, it always comes with a price, even if you are his friend. The price of doing this tonight came with a lot of liquor and free run of Purgatory -- which, realistically, he had anyway, but it felt better to demand something out of the deal than do something nice.

Still, Crowley is an excellent public speaker, and as he carefully contemplates what he's going to say, he's decided that going in without anything prepared at all was definitely the right decision.

That was entertaining, after all.]

We are gathered here today to observe something or other for the greater good of that thing.

[It was said lazily, as he slides his hands into his pockets.]

I've obviously never officiated a wedding before, as I've never been asked and I don't actually give half a damn about the entire procedure, but I do love free liquor, which is what I'm doing this for. I suppose I should have kept that to myself, but we're all friends here, right? Save for the waitstaff, I'm certain they're spitting in all of our food as we speak. Congratulations, minimum wagers, you've finally made it for attempting to salivate on my food, which is the closest to royalty you will ever get.

[The dog nudges him sharply in the ribs, to remind Crowley that he needs to stay on track and, more importantly, behave -- and so the demon rolls his eyes slightly to the ceiling.]

Marriage in my world is something of a sham, in my personal opinion. You get married for a variety of reasons -- mostly money or because you were knocked up and your family is Catholic or maybe even because you love one another. I've gathered a lot of souls because people wanted to be married to someone who could care less about them. It's a bizarre tradition, one steeped in illegal arrangement and cows for dowries, and nothing is more bizarre and freakish than the union here today. Angels, as a general rule, are dicks, and -- well, I'm certain whatever the actual hell Jinx is could be considered that as well, so perhaps it's a match made in unconventional Heaven. Or Hell. Whichever your preference.

[The dog, at this juncture, is beginning to look unimpressed.]

So... oh, I suppose there's something about vows in there, but I've lost interest in this entire business, so you do, and so do you, so kiss the bride.

[And Crowley waves his fingers slightly, to gesture at the two to do so.]

And that is that. Congratulations. Mazel Tov. Whatever the Hindus do. You can sign your marriage contract at the door. Two for the price of one, this day only, as a personal gift from yours truly.

[ofthursday]

[Castiel glances over, head tilting to the side.]

No, as I have no idea what that is.

[integrity]

I'm extraordinarily concerned over the fact that there is a massive elephant eating that plant.

[Mildly, as he watches it.]

Have you seen my dog?

[paterelohim]

[Nobody, but everyone should be stunned to see Chuck actually behind the bar and working like he has a job or something.

Mostly it's just an excuse to sidle up to Crowley with a bottle of rotgut whiskey in a really expensive bottle and offer him a top-up.]

[integrity]

I think I'm going to begin charging for officiating.

[He's suddenly at his side, completely and utterly pleased with himself, for the first time in awhile.

Also he might be a little drunk because he was somewhat curious about angel liquor and while he is absolutely horrified at the taste and quality, it's also put him in a rather good mood.]

[paterelohim]

[Chuck leans over the bar, looking very serious.]

Read my mind.

[He's thinking hard about the complete line dance, minus context. It's difficult.

Also, refilling the angel's drink. Cas needs a little more drunk for this one.]

[madeinoblivion]

[Joe grins, sliding the earphones off his head and spinning around on his stool.]

Hey Roxas- Jinx say when he could take the penguin suits off?

[manicpixiedreamgirl]

[She looks over at theelephant with a a sour look. It was the one terrible concession she's made in the planning, and she regrets it]

I don't think anyone sees your dog but you.

[Then looking back to him, over here elephant-induced bitterness for the moment.]

So, you've got everything memorized?I won't be having any ab libbing today. Alright?

LMFAO OH MY GOD

[integrity]

[Crowley is, indeed, surprised that Chuck has a job. He is pretty sure Chuck is homeless or something. But whatever -- and he accepts the top-up without much argument, until he takes a sip of it.

There is a moment or two of silence as he stares at his glass, because that is definitely not the 34659873453 dollar glass of scotch he usually gets. And something in his throat spasms and he almost gags before he shoves the glass away with a push of telekinesis, right into Chuck's shirt.]

What in the hell is that, rubbing alcohol?

[integrity]

Darling, I'm forty-two thousand years old, if I can't memorize a speech, I should be shot.

[Read: Crowley didn't actually read the speech that Alice gave him because fuck that, okay.]

And you could see my dog if you sell me your soul, but I'm going to leave business behind today.

[uberboned]

[It's really hard to keep a straight face throughout all of that. Honestly, given the situation and the two people involved in this, they probably couldn't have asked for a better speech. Gabriel raises his eyebrows at Jinx, waiting to make sure she's not going to jump over the altar and wring Crowley's neck for any of that... And also just... waiting, keeping everyone in suspense, because who really expected this, honestly? A dumbass archangel and the town's prima donna getting hitched.

Well, it happened, and they can suck on it.

Ready when you are.]

[ofthursday]

[Castiel looks seriously right back, but does at told and... Is very perplexed.]

Dancing?

[ofthursday]

You should.

[He looks pleased as well, even if he'd been somewhat mortified during the speech itself; even Castiel knows that is not at all how a wedding is supposed to go. But it's just funny now.

Though, despite his inebriation, he gives a sideways look at Crowley.]

Are you drunk?

[uberboned]

[That is the stupidest question ever, Chuck. God. Like he couldn't just poof himself clothing.] No, actually, and if you open that door, you're gonna find me with about twenty Russian sex workers with big American dreams, all of them of dubious consenting age.

[SOMEONE MIGHT BE A LITTLE EDGEY...]

[ofthursday]

[Castiel is no master of weddings, but he's pretty sure that speech wasn't supposed to go that way.

He'll just be over here pretending he doesn't know the demon in the slightest.]

[paterelohim]

[and that sound would be Chuck losing his shit laughing. Who cares if he's covered in whiskey? Fuck it. He dodged enough to avoid glass shrapnel, and that's all that matters.]

WHO DOESN'T WANT TO FEED A HELLHOUND

[integrity]

[There is the wedding cake. It is beautiful, large, glorious. Perhaps it's about to be cut.

And then there is the back of it.

Which has a chunk taken out of it.

Because Crowley mentioned something about wanting cake and Growley decided that was an order.

Oops.]

[paterelohim]

Yep.

[And then the first strains of the song come on, in all its horrible solo glory. He gives Cas a gleaming look and pushes the glass closer.]

You should drink this fast.

[astralling]

[Prue sees this, and assumes it's just a slightly off-from-normal dog eating the cake- and listen, she's seen a lot of weird stuff lately, so it's easy to accept. She has no idea there's anything weird about this animal outside the size, eyes, and claws.

So she finds the ability to point and firmly say-]

Hey! Bad dog! No!

[She's very good with animals.]

[failedparenting]

I'm not the one wearing heels.

[He winks, and pulls her to him. The music is something newer and unfamiliar, but he thinks he can manage.]

We haven't done this in a long time.