With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound

[deathknellgrell]

Who: Godzilla!Witch!Grell Sutcliff and SIREN'S PORT
When: July 14th - 15th
Where: The ocean off the coast of Sector 7; sector 7 itself; the transportation depot between sectors 4&7; sector 4
Summary: Grell turns into a witch that resembles Godzilla, except more fabulous, and rampages through Siren's Port. Details here!
Warnings: RAWR

Comments

Re: JULY 15th: mid-morning

[benderisgreat34]

After taking stock of recent happenings, Bender begins his morning bright and early at the crack of dawn by heading down to a high-traffic street corner with a stack of brown cardboard under one arm and a five-gallon plastic bucket under the other.

At his destination, he looks into the distance to ensure that, yes, a giant monster is still rampaging across town, and plants the bucket on the ground in front of him. Reaching into his cabinet of a torso, he produces a handful of small change with which he 'seeds' the bucket with a jangly clattering sound.

He flips the cardboard over his head, letting it settle on either side of his torso to reveal its purpose as a crude sandwich board with a large arrow pointing downwards. He lights up a cigar and leans passively against the side of the nearest building, causing the arrow to conveniently point directly into the bucket's opening.

The sign reads (in surprisingly neat, precise handwriting):

MEATBAGS REPENT
THE END IS NIGH!

RELINQUISH THY
EARTHLY POSSESSIONS
THAT THOU MAY ENTER
THE KINGDOM OF
HEAVEN UNFETTERED
BY THY SINFUL WEALTH

major credit cards also accepted

[littlepinksuitcase]

[Meryl is trying to get as far from the giant beast as she can, as quickly as she can—she's no coward, but she's well aware of her own size and the size of her guns, and there's no way trying to fight it is a good thing. There are other people with real powers for that.

But she skids to a stop when she sees what appears to be a short man in weird armor with a ridiculous sign. She has to read it twice to be sure what she's seeing.]

Are you trying to take people's money at a time like this?!

[benderisgreat34]

[Bender sighs in a heavy, overly-dramatic manner as he rolls his eyes, before trying to give this random woman the old puppy-dog-eyes treatment.]

I'm not taking anything from anybody right now. Can't you see it's the end of the world? I only have the best interests of humanity in mind.

Being a soul-less robot, I can never truly experience the afterlife. Burdened as you are, I just want to relieve you of your... [He looks down to remind himself] sinful wealth, so that you can get the just final rewards you deserve.

Pour it all in, baby, there's plenty of room.

[littlepinksuitcase]

But that's terrible!

[She puts her hands on her hips and gives him her best glare. Ms. Meryl Stryfe will not overlook rude people taking advantage of others even with that huge monster...thing...stomping around.]

This is not the end of the world! It's just some kind of...I don't know, science experiment or monster and someone will take care of it!

Besides, do you really think this is going to work? There aren't even that many rich people around!

[deathknellgrell]

[ Still from some distance away: ]

BOOOM BOOOOM BOOOOOOOOM!

[benderisgreat34]

Hey, you wanna deny the destruction of reality as we know it, and whatever religion stuff that says you can't take money with you, be my guest -- my very generous offer stands whether you take advantage of it or not.

Otherwise, step off and quit takin' up space.

[Bender blows a perfect ring of cigar smoke right at Meryl's face. It diffuses into a smelly, choking cloud as soon as it reaches her. WOW, RUDE.]

[littlepinksuitcase]

[SO RUDE]

How dare you! What kind of person are you, to stand by and watch and take from people! Don't you care about this place? It's your city too!

[benderisgreat34]

I'm sorry, do you see any robots named Fighter or Rebuilder around here?

I'm doing everything I can to help, lady.

[littlepinksuitcase]

I only see a robot named Huge Greedy Jerk!

[Blink.]

Wait—you're really a robot? Not just in armor?

[benderisgreat34]

Yeah, see?

[Bender rolls his eyes in exasperation as he opens his chest cabinet to reveal its hollow interior. He emphasizes the point by knocking on his side, producing a loud, resounding 'CLANG'.]

Happy? Now drop in your jewelery or get lost. In fact, get lost either way.

[He mumbles aside, to nobody in particular,] It's like you people never even SEEN a robot.

[littlepinksuitcase]

[Her ire is forgotten for a moment as she stoops down to look inside. It really is empty...which doesn't explain how the robot is powered or really anything at all, but it is sort of fascinating.

Of course, his blatant rudeness brings her back to reality.]

A lot of people haven't, you know! Lost technology isn't common on every world, it's...well...lost! The only robotic things I've ever met were guard dogs that shot at people!

[benderisgreat34]

If they shot at you they're probably alright in my book.

Are you done, or do you wanna harass me for my perfectly legitimate panhandling some more? [He crosses his arms and taps his foot impatiently.]

[littlepinksuitcase]

[HUFF HUFF HUFF]

I'll be leaving right now!

[Standing up straight, the very picture of indignance.]

I hope you get stepped on by a giant lizard!

[deathknellgrell]

[ AND BY ENORMOUS COINCIDENCE, THE SHADOW OF A BIG GIANT FOOT IS MOVING SWIFTLY OVER YOU, BENDER & MERYL! ]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!

[benderisgreat34]

[Not noticing the change in illumination OR monster noises, Bender is shaking his fist after Meryl. Once she's out of sight, he crosses his arms smugly, looking upwards just in time to see the bottom of a giant foot, directly overhead.]

[Several five-pound ceramic bricks clatter to the pavement from about three feet up.]

[deathknellgrell]

[ Down it descends: inexorable destruction, incoherent rage, inestimable-- ]

SQUISH!

[meddler]

[ and the Doctor begins by... staring.

In all honesty, he should ne more shocked. But he knows Amy, the TARDIS, Jack and Rose are all out of harm's way, but...

he still worries.

At any length, he cannot help but stare at the sign. ]

What?!

[benderisgreat34]

[Bender stares at the man with great disdain, somehow also appearing thoroughly detached and uninterested.]

Yep, it's all true. You look like you're in a hurry, so just drop your whole wallet in to save time.