Axel; Ⅷ; The Flurry of Dancing Flames (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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sirenspull_logs2012-08-17 06:17 am
got_it_memorized) wrote in sirenspull_logs2012-08-17 06:17 am
Hold on, hold on to yourself
Who: The Three Amigos
When: Friday 17August, midafternoon
Where: The lakeside beach
Summary: Axel's been holding off telling the kids something pretty important, and finally decides maybe he should just Nobody-up and be straight with them.
Warnings: Mentions of death and possible threats of violence on certain Keyblade wielders.
When Axel had promised to work on not keeping secrets anymore, this particular one hadn't quite factored into the equation. After all, Roxas had even said he didn't want to know about his future, but as time had gone on it had started to eat away at his insides, leaving him feeling sort of raw and hollow. Or, well... more hollow than usual, perhaps. He forgot most of the time that there was really no logical reason for him to be here at all because he was dead, but every once in a while something would remind him and a twinge of guilt would twist up in the pit of his stomach.
There was no telling how long they would be here, any of them. People disappeared from the port often and without warning, and Axel wondered sometimes if their days were numbered or if it was all random. He supposed it didn't really matter. All he knew was that he didn't want to disappear from this place with this secret still a secret from his best friends. If the truth came to light later, from someone else's mouth, that would be even worse. He knew Sora knew the truth, and while he trusted the boy to keep it to himself, Axel wasn't sure how many others knew. He was certain Xigbar and Xemnas knew, and hearing the truth from them would have been devastating, of that he was certain.
Somehow he was surprised it had remained a secret this long. Axel was all for pressing his luck, but maybe not so much when Roxas and Xion were involved. By some unexpected twist of good fortune, he'd been given that second chance he had never thought he would deserve, and wasting it by making the same stupid mistakes all over again wouldn't do at all.
He arrived at the lake before them, a little cooler slung over one shoulder with three ice cream bars inside. It was funny, the way such a small and simple old tradition had become something so important. He didn't expect the ice cream to soften the blow, but somehow he couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation without it as a buffer. Axel hadn't worn his coat for this--he had walked to the lake; he hadn't wanted to tell this story while wearing the Organization's garb, even useful as it was.
Sitting down on a toppled tree trunk, he kicked off his sneakers and buried his feet in the coarse sand of the lakeside, leaning back on his hands to wait for Roxas and Xion to arrive. They weren't going to like this story at all, but he wanted them to hear it from him, not from someone who would relish in the shock value of breaking the news. They said the truth didn't hurt unless it ought to, but Axel would have given just about anything to not have this story end the way he knew it did.
When: Friday 17August, midafternoon
Where: The lakeside beach
Summary: Axel's been holding off telling the kids something pretty important, and finally decides maybe he should just Nobody-up and be straight with them.
Warnings: Mentions of death and possible threats of violence on certain Keyblade wielders.
When Axel had promised to work on not keeping secrets anymore, this particular one hadn't quite factored into the equation. After all, Roxas had even said he didn't want to know about his future, but as time had gone on it had started to eat away at his insides, leaving him feeling sort of raw and hollow. Or, well... more hollow than usual, perhaps. He forgot most of the time that there was really no logical reason for him to be here at all because he was dead, but every once in a while something would remind him and a twinge of guilt would twist up in the pit of his stomach.
There was no telling how long they would be here, any of them. People disappeared from the port often and without warning, and Axel wondered sometimes if their days were numbered or if it was all random. He supposed it didn't really matter. All he knew was that he didn't want to disappear from this place with this secret still a secret from his best friends. If the truth came to light later, from someone else's mouth, that would be even worse. He knew Sora knew the truth, and while he trusted the boy to keep it to himself, Axel wasn't sure how many others knew. He was certain Xigbar and Xemnas knew, and hearing the truth from them would have been devastating, of that he was certain.
Somehow he was surprised it had remained a secret this long. Axel was all for pressing his luck, but maybe not so much when Roxas and Xion were involved. By some unexpected twist of good fortune, he'd been given that second chance he had never thought he would deserve, and wasting it by making the same stupid mistakes all over again wouldn't do at all.
He arrived at the lake before them, a little cooler slung over one shoulder with three ice cream bars inside. It was funny, the way such a small and simple old tradition had become something so important. He didn't expect the ice cream to soften the blow, but somehow he couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation without it as a buffer. Axel hadn't worn his coat for this--he had walked to the lake; he hadn't wanted to tell this story while wearing the Organization's garb, even useful as it was.
Sitting down on a toppled tree trunk, he kicked off his sneakers and buried his feet in the coarse sand of the lakeside, leaning back on his hands to wait for Roxas and Xion to arrive. They weren't going to like this story at all, but he wanted them to hear it from him, not from someone who would relish in the shock value of breaking the news. They said the truth didn't hurt unless it ought to, but Axel would have given just about anything to not have this story end the way he knew it did.
no subject
Xion pulled back and pressed a kiss to his brow and he just stared at her a moment, so completely boggled that he was sure he looked absolutely ridiculous. She didn't seem to notice and just hugged him again, and the pressure behind his sternum splintered and spiderwebbed apart.
He realized after a moment that he'd forgotten to breathe and inhaled sharply, audibly, and his eyes swam to Roxas where the boy was reaching feebly from his seat in the grass. Before he really thought about it Axel reached out and closed long fingers around Roxas' wrist and pulled him--not sharply enough to hurt, but firmly enough to uproot him and send him crashing into both he and Xion. They were suddenly a tangle of limbs. Axel hadn't really ever hugged them before--he just didn't hug people--but in that instant it was as if everything depended on his holding the two of them in his awkward, gangly arms.
He had lost his home more than ten years ago, but if home was where the heart was then maybe he wasn't as out of luck as he'd always thought, because if his heart wasn't here with these two then it was surely nowhere to be had.
He loosened his arms after a moment, half worried he might have actually been hurting them but mostly because this was so unusual for him he was sure they were going to suppose he had a fever at this rate. He didn't let go, though; some tiny inane part of him was afraid if he let go now he would find out this had all been some kind of dream. He had carried this on his shoulders for so long, feeling guilty for keeping it from them but too afraid of their reactions to come clean. Suddenly everything felt lighter.
It was okay. This was okay. They would be okay.
"I'm sorry." The words had been so hard to say once; they had never come easier to him. "It was my fault things happened they way they did. I was a damn coward."
Axel pulled back then, conviction in his eyes as he held the two of them at arm's length, one hand on each of their outside shoulders.
"I'm not gonna blow it this time," he said. "You guys... you're the reason I'm a decent person at all, you know? And I was too stupid to see it 'til I'd lost you both."