sirenspull_logs | This is how it feels When the trust you had is broken

Who: Diego Armando (

chiefdefense).
When: Evening on the 22nd, after this.
Where: Diego's apartment.
Summary: After Diego is taken ill, Mia learns exactly how much has been kept from her and she is not. Happy.
Warnings: Angst and heated words

[By the time Mia gets off the NV from Dr. Banner, she feels completely sick to her stomach and that same, dread sense of unease that she had hoped never to have to feel again in association with Diego. The news that he had had some sort of seizure on the train on his way home is so shockingly unexpected that it makes her head spin and suddenly she's 23 again, getting bad news from a stranger, but this time she has no explanation for it and she's not about to wait for one.

As soon as he gets home they're going to the emergency room, because healthy men do not suddenly collapse on trains and start fitting and she knows that with Maya and Phoenix gone, she absolutely cannot afford to lose Diego.

Not again.

To distract herself, she sets about petting Mir and listens out for the sound of Diego's key in the door.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You can see all the colors for me.

[His blind eyes have a milky color to them, the formerly brown irises drained of pigment and left glazed-over and unfocused. He closes them and leans into the kiss and the touch, resting his weary body mostly in her arms.]

I still remember their color perfectly. Brown- deep, rich brown, like a perfect cup of coffee.

[Mia can't help but laugh at that, even as she holds him in her arms. He's being perfectly sincere, and perfectly him for that matter, but it still tickles her nonetheless.]

Only you could use a coffee analogy like that and get away with it.

I know. [He laughs under his breath, then goes quiet for a few long moments.

He's happy enough just to touch her, to smooth his hand over her shoulder as she lets him rest in her arms. He wants to let the silence carry on, but there are words he wants to say. Words he needs to get out while he wants them heard.]

I'm sorry, Mia.

You better be, you vain, arrogant ass.

[There's no malice in her words, only gentle teasing. It's nothing she hasn't called him before. She shifts a little so they're both more comfortable laying on the bed. She lets the silence linger for a little longer, taking the time to examine his face while she can. She's missed it, missed the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs.

She sighs. Some things about him will never change, no matter how much he may protest that he's a different man. For that she's glad.]

I'm sorry too. I'll try to be better at understanding from now on.

[He laughs at her reply, shaking his head.]

I'm sorry I went to that meeting. I'm sorry I left you, I- I'm sorry I lied to you.

[He goes quiet after that, and it's apparent he's fighting back to keep from showing too much emotion. He wishes, briefly, that his visor was still on to cover his eyes and their suddenly glistening appearance.]

I love you so much. I hate that I hurt you.

[Mia watches him fight to keep his face neutral and it hurts her to see him agonising over this, over all these things that she had already decided to forgive him for a long time ago. Of course she had been angry, and of course it hadn't been fair of her to dredge all that ugly stuff up with their fight yesterday, but she'd been scared and angry and all the old insecurities over the past had come spewing out in an angry tirade.

No, Diego wasn't the same man she'd fallen in love with anymore. She could never have imagined seeing him carry such sadness around his eyes now, and she suspected she knew exactly how that had come to be there too. Knowing that hurt her too. It didn't matter though, all of the scars that they bore, both visible and the deeper, more painful ones that didn't mar their skins, they didn't matter to her.]

Ssh...

[She cups his cheek and kisses him softly on the lips.]

We're both as bad as each other, and that's not really something I want to dwell on. It doesn't do anyone any good.

And I love you too, just so you know.

[Part of him feels guilty because he knows he still hasn't been completely honest with her. He knows there is a dark, pitch-black part of his past in the last few years that he can't bring himself to poison her with. He knows that the thought that she was responsible for it would hurt her worse than ever.

But maybe now that she's here, now that they're together, maybe they can forget it. Maybe the past will finally stay buried and he can work on being him again- the man she fell in love with, the one who was still worth her, the man named Diego Armando, who he still doesn't feel like some mornings.

He leans up into the kiss once he feels it, laying in her arms fully now.]

Will you lay with me a while?

Try stopping me.

[She reaches up to comb her fingers through his hair before pressing her forehead against his.]

I missed this, I missed knowing what's going on in that head of yours, or at least having some sort of an idea.

[She traces the shell of his ear before her fingers return to his hair.]

God, you have no idea how much I missed you.

Well now... I'm not as interesting if I don't keep a little bit of mystery, right?

[He smiles lazily, surrendering to her touches and nudges. This was what he used to lie in bed and ache for on days like this, days where he woke up feeling sick and groggy.]

I think I do have some idea.

[She laughs, her whole being completely relaxed as she pets him like an oversized cat.]

And they say that it's the woman in the relationship who has to work at being the mysterious one.

[She stretches her legs, toes brushing against his shin.]

This is how it feels When the trust you had is broken

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