I break the back of love for you.

[hostage]

Who: Jesse Pinkman, Yosuke Hanamura, Jane Margolis
When: Afternoon of Monday, September 10
Where: Jesse's house
Summary: Once upon a time Jesse killed his girlfriend and then she came back to life.
Warnings: Drugs. Get used to it with this cast.


[The house is empty but not silent. Having successfully alienated two of the people he loves most, Jesse's alone with his music and his drugs. Some horrible dubstep is blaring from his speakers, wubwubwubing so hard that his oil burner is jumping up and down on the coffee table's surface. He already smoked the last of his blue from Mexico - the blue that Mr. White "fixed" for him, the blue he crushed underfoot in rage - so the rocks on the table are all glowing green. The toxic stuff that Jesse cooked himself with Joker's chemicals.

It's fucking him up, that stuff. He knew it would, which is why he let it sit hidden in his shed for so long, but the recipe sounded good at the time. It's not as fun in reality... or not when he's on his own and terrified, at least. It isn't cheering him up like it should. His ribs hurt from giggling and he had to turn the TV off because it was too funny and he was choking.

Jesse sinks back against the couch cushions, sucking in a deep breath. He just has to chill out. It's been hours. It should be wearing off. He just has to wait it out, stifling erratic laughter into his palm.]

Comments

[inthejunk]

[Yosuke's heart kicks up in a mad, fluttering mess when Jesse approaches. All his internal wires spark, every muscle seems to react. The fight or flight thing can't be true. It's obviously a total lie. Because inside his head he's just screaming GO, GET OUT, GO GO GO GET OUT at himself. His body, on the other hand, is still in that defensive stance. His traitor jaw is tensing up with the rest of him, making it harder to force a response out. His body wants to stay and fight. In spite of the fact that he loses every single time he's up against Jesse. Every. Single. Time.]

Seriously, why would I bother?

[It's not easy to say. Not because it's not true-it is true, he doesn't get what this weird obsession is about dying but killing Jesse wouldn't solve any of his problems at all. So why the hell does Jesse think it will?-but because he can't find the breath in his lungs for it. Because his tongue feels like lead, and his throat is dry. Why is everyone around here so freaking suicidal?]

You're just-I think you're-you know. High. You aren't thinking right. Right? So just...why don't you just calm down?

[hostage]

[Jesse isn't suicidal. He just wants to be right. He wants to be right about this, and then he wants to take whatever weapon Yosuke's hiding and show him how to really use it. And that's all the meth. That's why his teeth are chattering and his hands are shaking and he's giggling again. It's the meth and Joker's toxin running through his system.

- And if this were someone else, there wouldn't be a reason to look for. But this is Jesse, who does have a gentle heart underneath this, and who needs reasons for something like beating the shit out of a teenager, because it's not naturally his way.]

Yeah, so what, I'm high. But we're talking, ain't we? So tell me. If I'm wrong, then what is it? Why're you sneaking in here?

[inthejunk]

I wasn't sneaking. I said hello...you just didn't hear me. T-the music, you know?

[Crap, are his knees trembling? Just great. He tries to lock them, just until Jesse gets a grip. Showing weakness right now is a mistake. It's an invitation. It's the opposite of what he needs to diffuse the situation before Jesse does something loud -like kicking his ass maybe-and Jane runs in to see what's going on and maybe gets hurt. No, that definitely can't happen. He has to stop whatever this is and get out before then.]

Y-you're right. Money. I need money. And y'know you said you were rich, right? It's um. It's for the bar. Because I gave the money I had away a while ago and now I need it back. Fai-sama might be back one day and want his bar in one piece, right? So...so not a robbery just a-a loan. Just a loan. Alright? It's cool. Everything's cool.

[hostage]

- Oh.

[Just like that, the giggling switches off again. He hasn't actually found any of this amusing. At all.]

Jesus, you know, why didn't you just say so? I was about to kick your ass.

[No, wait, there's another giggle. But he shrugs it off and pulls out his wallet, tugging hundred bills out one by one.]

Uh... How much, again?

[inthejunk]

I don't know.

[Yosuke sinks down, his stupid knees giving out now that the immediate threat has passed. With his good palm on the floor and his legs bent and splayed that way he might as well be attempting a parody of an idol poster. A bead of sweat drips down from his hairline and almost silently hits the floor, splattering into a tiny pool. Okay, yeah. That was a little too close for comfort.]

[hostage]

[Jesse glances over to Yosuke, more curious than concerned about whatever's going on with him. Okay, that's weird. But whatever. Jesse chucks about $1500 onto the kid's head and drifts away, into the kitchen, to grab a beer.]

[kicktomorrow]

[The longer she sat in the cab the more sober she got, and the more sober she got the more Jane realized she'd just listened to a teenage boy telling her to sit tight. So it was inevitable that she finally muttered 'screw this' and promised the cab driver he'd he well compensated for waitong. They argued briefly over her lack of valuable to leave as insurance, but finally she slams out of the cab anyway, ignoring his colorful yelling.

She shoves open the front door and steps inside, schooling herself to look less irritated, although her head is throbbing and her mouth tastes like ancient pennies.]

I--

[She blinks at Yosuke on the floor and goes to pick him up, gently, and pushes him towards the door, because she knows this kind of mess and--yeah, it makes sense now.]

Where's Jesse? [She asks, quietly, herding Yosuke towards the door.] I've got this. Don't worry.

[inthejunk]

[For a moment, Yosuke is relieved. He gets up when Jane coaxes him to, glad that someone else has this, because he's in way over his head. But, no. Wait. That's not okay. He can't let Jane get anywhere near Jesse, not while the guy is still tripping out and acting crazy. He plants his feet, and catches the doorway with his good arm. Jane outweighs him by a little bit, but not much. And he's a man. She can't just shove him out the door that way. Nope, he's not going to let it go like this.]

No, wait! Uh. He's uh...sick. You should come back tomorrow, okay? Just in case it's dangerous. Contagious! I mean, with your head and all, you know? I'll make sure he sees a doctor. R-really. Just uh. Just go wait another minute, okay?

[hostage]

[Too late. Jesse's wandered back from the kitchen, already-half-empty beer bottle in hand. He stands there in the hall for a second, motionless and staring down at Yosuke and Jane.

Hallucinations. They're not typical when it comes to meth, but they happen when you've been up for days on end and you're already suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Jesse sees Jane. Often. Early in the mornings, out of the corner of his eye, next to him in bed. Sometimes he sees Lisbeth and mistakes her for Jane. Sometimes he's out at a club and he swears he just saw her disappear into the crowd. Jane's never left him.

She doesn't vanish when he blinks this time, though. He doesn't know what to make of that. He takes a step back, shakily setting his beer down on the counter so he doesn't drop it. It's the only sound to announce his presence, since he doesn't say anything yet.]

[kicktomorrow]

Yosuke...

[But Jane isn't looking at him anymore. She takes one shaky step towards Jesse, then another, tentative and delicate as a deer stepping into a clearing. She stops again, looking at Jesse with unguarded empathy in her brown eyes.]

I know what this is. Go home. We'll be fine.

[She softens her voice even more and walks right up to Jesse, reaching put for his hand.]

Hey, baby.

[inthejunk]

[Yosuke's eyes widen when Jesse comes back into the room, and he follows instinctively when Jane moves toward Jesse. Though he reaches a hand toward her he doesn't quite bring himself to try and stop her. Instead, he watches. Not Jane, but Jesse. Intent, alert, alarmed but not wishing to interfere. She'd wanted this so badly.]

[In fact, it's obvious now. They aren't just dating, they're in love. Real love, the good stuff. His stomach drops and his chest tightens, with the same familiar squeeze of jealousy that he's utterly used to by now. It still feels like a sucker punch every time, but his heart doesn't actually break until Jane tells him to leave, that she knows what's going on. Suddenly the fact that more than love is shared between the two is also obvious. He finally finds his voice, and it comes out traiterously squeaky.]

You lied! You didn't hit your head. You're -he's-both of you are high!

[hostage]

[As far as Jesse's concerned, Yosuke isn't even there. Jane is all he sees in that moment. She touches him and he exhales sharply, as if shocked by electricity. It's never been that real when he's just imagining it. He looks down at his hand in hers, stares at their fingers entwined, then returns his wide-eyed gaze to her face.]

...Jane?

[kicktomorrow]

Long time no see?

[Her smile is fragile and pale, but it's warm all the same--until Yosuke bursts in with his belated realization and she glances back at him with sudden, ridiculous hurt. She doesn't owe him anything--except of course she does, and he's just a kid. He shouldn't be here. Jane looks stricken even as she goes to Jesse's side, squeezing his hand tight.]

Yeah. I lied. Thank you for everything, and I'll get your clothes back to you as soon as I have something else to wear. Now, please go. Do you really want to be here?

[inthejunk]

[No, he definitely doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to see their happy reunion, where Jesse gets the girl -again- and everyone is on drugs and they go make some crackbabies together happily ever after. Not really.]

[And he's so good at being told to take a hike by this point in his life that whatever he feels about it never makes it onto his face. Instead, he smiles. It's the fallback expression, the one that instantly slaps itself across his face when everything is fucked up beyond all belief. At this point he usually goes to get the manager. This time, he just goes.]

[He gets to his feet and shakes off the money Jesse threw at him, watching it drift down like a flock of lazy paper birds, whirling and chattering. It's a surreal experience, and it draws all of his focus, so he can't quite look up at Jane when he mumbles his goodbye.]

If you need anything, call. Even after dark. I'll come...

[Not that he expects to be heard, anyway. Whatever. This is almost the good ending, even if it makes him feel sick and sad. He tiptoes away and closes the door behind him, locking it this time.]