sirenspull_logs | (no subject)

Who: Chris Halliwell, Prue Halliwell
When: Friday
Where: Prue's apartment
Summary: Chris is having trouble figuring out his healing power.
Warnings: none

[Since Gold tracked her down the other day, there's been a fire lit under Prue to get this spell reversed. Of course, any attempts to do it herself have failed. Even trying it together with Chris has gotten them nowhere. There's nothing else but to accept that Halliwell magic alone won't fix this.

It isn't that simple, of course. She refuses to post to the Network and admit to having cursed the entire city while she's scarred and all but blind. It's sensible, to her; seeing how angry people are is proof enough of how vulnerable she would be to let the entire city see a weakness like that. So she's bossily sent Chris off to work on his healing power- not that her nephew-turned-niece needed a push.

So Chris is off with the Book of Shadows, obsessing over Leo's note to future Whitelighters, trying to unlock the key to his healing powers. That leaves Prue home alone with nothing to do, since a temperamental moment a few days ago broke the TV. Since her astral form is healthy with full vision, she's spending as much time as possible like that, leaving her real form unconscious on the couch. Kit, her cat, has taken to sleeping on the real Prue's stomach, kneading her claws in the sleeping Prue's shirt while the awake Prue is too far away to stop her.

She winds up spending the better part of an hour flicking her hand in midair at Kit, vainly trying to use her powers in astral form. Over and over. She waves her hand, Kit meows contentedly.

Eventually she gets fed up and yells at the ceiling.]

CHRIS.

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[That makes Chris pause for a moment, because she hits so many things on the head. He shrugs instead of opening up though.]

It was for a good reason, and after they knew they accepted me. It was really great...

[She shakes her head a little.]

Still, before that- I can't even imagine. The first time I ever saw my mom again-

What was it like? The first time you saw her again?

Confusing, but I was ready for it.

Right.

[She swallows a sigh of frustration. It's like Chris is deliberately resisting this.]

Chris, I need you to work with me at least a little bit. If you're ever going to tap into your power, you have to bring down some of those walls- or at least put in a window.

[Chris deflates a bit]

Okay. You're right. I opened a bit, towards the end. I should be able to do it with you too.

[Prue moves to the other side of the loveseat, so she's that much closer to Chris' spot on the couch, and leans in closer..]

Look, it's not that I expect you to manufacture feeling for me that just isn't there yet- you just have to listen and be open. I have the same problem of thinking too much instead of feeling.

[She moves next to him on the couch and takes his (her) hand gently, insistently.]

So think about that moment again. You were prepared for it, of course. But I remember going back in time, too. I knew what we were in for, but the first time I saw my mom's face- trust me, I know how it feels.

[She blinks and clears her throat slightly, moving right along from that particular memory.]

So... the first time you saw her, or if you were busy, how it felt the first time you were alone when the crisis was over. How did it feel? That confusion- what did you want to say to her? What was it like every single time some demon bastard threw her into a wall and you couldn't stop it?

Edited 2012-10-13 19:54 (UTC)

[Chris feels choked by that last line.]

I.. I knew she'd be okay. Otherwise I'd disappear. [He says, but his voice is sticky]

It hurt though. Every time. I had to focus on what I was doing or else I felt like I was being ripped in half.

[Prue squeezes his hand a little, clasping it in both of hers bracingly.]

I know.

What about when she smiled?

[Chris tenses a bit and then shakes his head.]

Or when she told me that she loved me?

Do you know when a wound is healing, how it still itches? Sometimes it still hurts, but it's better.

She is just as amazing as I remember her. Strong, level headed, beautiful... That and her cookies. I missed those. Victor can't even manage the pre-packaged ones very well.

[Her face tightens when he mentions her father's name, but she firmly decides to ignore it.]

She used to make the most amazing berry pies, too.

When I saw Mom at Piper's wedding, it hurt every time I looked at her.

[Her hands squeeze Chris' a little more. She wants to meet his eyes, but it takes her a second to steel herself enough to do it firmly.]

If you could see your mom- the one who remembers being your mother- one more time, what would you want to tell her?

That I'm sorry.

And that you love her?

That one... isn't as easy to say.

I know, Chris- I know.

[She squeezes Chris' hands tighter and moves closer to deliberately catch her gaze. Look her right in the eye, letting her own vulnerability show. The way it bruised when she realized she hadn't been telling her sisters she loved them- not just for the painful Mom memories it brought up, but because of the realization that she was denying her sisters that, the pain of having that old wound pushed at. The vulnerability of saying it, the tight fist that still closes around her chest whenever she sees water.]

But you have to. Don't be afraid of it. You want to tell her you're sorry because she's your mother and you'd do anything for her- you love her. [Leaning in, still meeting Chris' pained gaze.] Remember it. How it felt when she hugged you. When something made her cry or made her laugh- all the time you wish you had with her.

Do you really think this is going to help me heal you? [Chris asked. He just looked pained.]

[Prue bites her lip sadly and gently brushes his hair back with one hand, resting it on his shoulder.]

Yes. I do. But I'm mostly pushing this for you- if you can remember how that love felt, and let her memory back into your heart, then you can let love in later, too. You can't stay closed off forever.

[Part of her is working a little blind here, honestly- saying things she thinks Phoebe would say, or Leo, or Mom. Given how much it hurts to see him work through it, she knows she must be saying the right things.]

[He snorts] Yes I can.