sirenspull_logs | (no subject)

Who:

tryingitall Balthazar.

servingmichael Raphael expected, but others also welcome.
When: 2.21.13
Where: Around the edge of the lower-class sector.
Summary: Just wandering and trying to figure out how the place works.
Warnings: None likely.

He's been to inspect the docks, but there was no discernible activity there. Possibly this late in the day no one wants to risk ferrying in anything or anyone to the place, or maybe it's just not a scheduled delivery day. Balthazar is mildly disappointed. He's still trying to learn the ropes, trying to observe something that could be useful to the handful of siblings trapped here. Maybe even save some lives.

He's far behind the others, though, still off-balance from his arrival, and not as quick to pick up the subtleties of the place as he'd hoped.

With every intention of getting inside before the sirens, he's still in no hurry to get back to his apartment. He walks back from the docks, aimless but enjoying the feel of motion and impact of the pavement beneath his feet. As he moves toward more populated areas, he slows to watch the residents. Some are clearly up to no good, but others seem merely stressed and strained under an intolerable situation. It's anybody's guess how long it will be before someone territorial approaches to kick him out of their neighborhood.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Raphael knows too well how to push most of his brother's buttons - aided, perhaps in believing the demon had CLEARLY corrupted his brother himself.

He's silent, letting Balthazar speak. He's still my little brother, Balthazar. I love all my brothers. I can't forgive what he's done, and he's not wrong to think I do want him to pay for it - but I do not want that for him either.

Raphael wanted to cave Castiel's head in and shred his Grace, if he was honest. He wanted Castiel to bleed for all pain he'd caused, the war, Michael's deaths here, releasing the Leviathans, everything, all of it. Hated him for being the upstart who their Father now favored. But he didn't really want to kill him anymore. Living was so much worse.

He shifted the girl in his arms and smoothed back her hair and restored her clothing of tears and dirt before sending her back home to her home to her bed. "I don't either."

He looks warily at the archangel, wondering when he changed, and if it was as painful for him as it was for the rest of them. He says nothing until the girl is sent away, gathering his thoughts, then asks, "You don't want to kill him now?"

Because that makes a difference. He wouldn't be happy to see Castiel tortured or maimed, either, but he can't quite view Cas as all light and clumsy good intentions. Not any more. Maybe that's what hurts most.

"Or Anna?" Anna's not really the point of contention, but he'd be remiss if he forgot to speak in her favor, as well. "Or me?"

Change was painful regardless. And Raphael has been through it, brutally. Being here, seeing what Castiel became only pushed harder at what was already occurring. "No, I do not. I didn't want to back home either." Here had been when it was really cemented, but now...now he'd rather Castiel live with the pain he caused.

"I never wanted to harm Anna - or you." What happened to Anna was something he felt real guilt about.

"I don't think you're likely to get the chance to kill me, anyway," he says weakly, but he does seem relieved, leaning tentatively so that their shoulders brush. "You may not know the whole and sum of my sins, so to speak, but I'm sorry for them. Some of them I wouldn't change, but I'm sorry anyway."

"I'd rather not find out." It was quiet but firm - he hadn't asked about some things, and he didn't intend to start asking. "Likely I don't, no." Because he would be cranky, if he did. "Michael had a plan, for if we got back home and he remembered this place. He told me, in case he didn't and I did. We are going to change things. It'll be better, for all of us." It's a promise.

That suits Balthazar just fine. Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. Best of all to get away with his transgressions scot-free. "So you've told me. I've been trying to think of an angle, but politics have been distraction. I'll keep doing what I can."

Sigh. "But in case Michael's plan doesn't work, just...I'm sorry, brother."

In the long run, unless one of them backs it out of this with their memories intact, Raphael doubts any of them will get away scot-free, in the end.

"So am I. I never wanted to see the Host descend into civil war again."

Somewhere between misery and despair is resignation. It feels strangely peaceful, having had this exchange. Almost like they've cleared the air. It may be an illusion, but Balthazar will enjoy it while it lasts.

"I know you didn't. I don't suppose any of us did." He places a hand on Raphael's shoulder tentatively, squeezing lightly.

Raphael feels settled - he's still tired, this place hasn't helped that one bit. Even if Michael's plan succeeds there is still so much work to do. He doesn't honestly know if he can endure it, though he knows he will, or die trying, because Michael asked it of him. He also asked him to keep the peace the two eldest had formed. He was finding that, at least, something he wanted to do.

He could scoff - after all, he'd tried to prevent it with Castiel, who seemed to only want hostilities. But he doesn't. The Host was damaged enough, he didn't need to strain the frayed seams. Balthazar's touch is startling, causing the briefest moment of tension to flare. Gabriel was fairly tactile, and Michael had been known, especially here, to put a hand on his shoulder, but Raphael was rarely physically in contact with his brothers. It takes him just a moment, then he reaches over and pats Balthazar's upper arm, jaw tense but mouth slightly unturned.

It'll be okay, little brother.

He almost flinches at the flare of tension, but in the end he's glad he didn't. Raphael seems to subtly appreciate the gesture, and some small part of Balthazar is pleased, even a little smug, that he can do something to support an archangel. Especially knowing what he knows about their future, if they can't alter it through this place.

He smiles, faintly but warmly, and withdraws. "It's getting late. I suppose I'd best get back to the Tower. Glad I bumped into you, though."

Raphael is glad he didn't either, affection, comfort of any kind is rarely something he's offered. He's not sure how to take it or what to do with it, but he does need it - he simply can't ask for it. "You should yes. There are a few more I should check on before I take my post for the night."

Because Raphael didn't stay confined and alone in the apartment building.

Balthazar rises to his feet with a slight nod. "All right. You be careful, too, though."

He hesitates for a moment, as if he's searching for one last word. In the end, he just murmurs a sheepish "And thanks", and takes off for his apartment with no further ceremony.