sirenspull_logs | Everything falling down around me...

Entry tags:

Everything falling down around me...

Who: Death and Alan Humphries
When:...This is backdated to 3/14. Which is a long time ago, I know.
Where: The S.S. Kahve in Sector 3.
Summary: Death and Alan have a little chat.
Warnings: Talk of death. Of course.

[She still liked to hold her meetings at Kahve, even if she didn't own the place anymore. Roxas had done such a nice job of setting it up, everything was perfect. What could she ask for from a better meeting place? And she was excited to see Alan. It had been so long, and while Eric was a nice guy, he kept flying off the handle. Or over the handle. Or whatever the phrase actually was.

So, she was in a nice little corner, two armchairs at the ready, and a mug of coffee for her. She'd gotten him some tea; if he didn't want tea, she could get something else, easily. And a muffin. Xion was getting pretty good with muffins, though she did think the cookies were better.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He had made Eric write out directions for him mostly because he wanted to do this alone. He needed to. It wasn't just what she'd said it was the fact that maybe if he did Eric would take him seriously and stop hovering like some over-protective mother bear with her cub or something like that. He wasn't sure what was going on with that but he figured talking to Didi first would be best and easiest.

Stepping inside, he was excited, nervous and so full of questions he was going to burst. He folded and stuffed the directions back into the pocket of his slacks next to his NV. After a quick glance around he found her and made his way to her taking a seat and smiling nervously.

How did one act when meeting the being that was all but mother to them? What did one say? Well, he might as well start with the usual..]

I'm sorry if I'm late. I haven't gotten my barrings just yet exactly. I know there isn't an excuse but about Eric - I don't know why he seems to dislike you so much. He's just- He means well but he's very protect and he seems to be under some impression that you'll hurt me somehow.

Maybe he just doesn't understand. Actually, I'm sure he doesn't. It's fine, Didi. I do understand. I know what's coming maybe not right now but eventually.

[He smiles and extends a hand to her.] And I know it's not your fault.

[He was so adorable. She just wanted to hug him and let him know everything was going to be okay. Not that she even knew; that was Destiny's shtick, after all, not hers. Death beamed at him, eyes full of happiness and a sad understanding.]

Don't worry about it, Alan. I would have waited here forever for you. [And she would have. She'd done it before. Reaching out, she took his hand, giving it a squeeze, and then holding on to it with both of hers.]

I'm so happy you're here. I think me and Eric have had a few misunderstandings along the way. His heart's in the right place, no one can doubt that, especially me. But I'm so happy that we have a chance to talk, now. [She let go after a moment.] I got you tea, if you want? I can change it to coffee if you prefer!

[She was so warm, kind. It was hard not to like her instantly but he was wary still. He couldn't help it but he did relax a bit, nervousness and fear replaced by calm curiosity.]

I'm glad to be here really. I don't really think it's a misunderstanding. He wants you to do something you can't and he can't accept that as an answer. [He sits back smiling happily, pleasantly surprised at the offer of tea.] Oh, yes please tea is fine. Tea is perfect.

If I'm perfectly honest, I have no idea what to ask or say. I'm sure there are some things you want to tell me though. I'd be more than happy to listen and ask a few questions, if that's okay.

[She pushed the mug of tea closer and then leaned back in her chair with a smile.] I just want to start out with, this is not easy on me. I told Eric that I can't interfere because of rules, and that's true. But I don't take any joy in taking someone. Especially someone like you.

[She sighs, looking down into her mug for a moment before taking a sip.] But we don't make the rules. If I could change them, I would, but everyone and everything dies. Even shinigami.

[He leans forward taking up the mug carefully - the familiar scent and sensation of holding the mug will help further calm him. He smiles sadly, apologetically - he knows that feeling so very well it seems he's more like mother than he'd ever have thought.] Your beside manner and mine aren't that different, I'm glad and I hope you'll be there personally when the time comes it would be a comfort.

[He fusses with the mug peering down into his tea. He knows all about the rules, the inability to stop death - it can be stalled and delayed for a little while under special circumstances but in the end he knows.] I understand, Didi, I do.

[Alan pauses taking a sip of his tea, think quietly for a moment or two.] I would never ask you break the rules. I've come to terms with what will happen to me. That won't stop me from doing what Eric wishes, trying to prolong my time here with him and the others but I do respect you.

I will. I'll be there when it's time, Alan. That's not something I ever miss. [She smiles sadly, taking a sip of coffee.]

I'm not asking you to stop that. You can tell Eric that, too. I won't stop you, and no one else will, most likely. I don't really know anyone who would stop someone from trying not to die.

I'd say just put it out of your mind and try to have fun, but I know it's not something anyone forgets. It'll always sit there, in the back of your mind. You'll always remember. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't live.

[And honestly he can't understand Eric's dislike of Didi. She seems reasonable enough; actually, she kind of puts him in mind of himself - or maybe since she IS death and simply was first; it was something he got from her. She was one of them and they were hers after all.]

I'll be sure to tell him, but I don't know what good it will do.

[Eric was like one of those humans he'd seen after he'd taken a soul; angry with grief, distressed - pleading with the cosmos; with God, with Destiny, with Fate, with Death, with him...]

It is a bit difficult yes. [He smiles slightly settling back with his tea.] I try. I mean I don't exactly do much but what I do does make my life pleasant. Having the Thorns though, it makes me feel inferior somehow; so I don't do all the things I could, I want...

I'm afraid I'll leave things half done or make the hurt that will come worse. I push myself to do the things I -know- I can and hold back the things I know will only lead to pain when I go. I'm not dead yet I know and I should do all the things, experience everything - hold no regrets in my heart when it does stop...

[She understood. Eric was in his own stage of grief, even though there was nothing to grieve over, just yet. Everyone had their own grieving process, and while she wasn't sure what the right thing to say to Eric was... she knew what to say to Alan.]

You're not inferior, because you have the Thorns. Not even a little bit. Sometimes, these things happen. That's Destiny's realm, though. I think you should talk to him at some point. He's very... stoic.

[She grins a little at that.] But. I think you should do everything. Even if it might not be completely done, even if it hurts more, later. You should do everything. See, there's something that I do. One day, every century, Death gets to live as a mortal. Just for one day, no more, no less. At the end of the day, I get to talk to myself, and go over what I did that day.

Trust me. Don't worry so much. Just have fun.

[The words are certainly reassuring. It won't change how he feels about it but it is nice to know someone doesn't think that. Someone that doesn't see it as him being weak or him needing to be coddled.]

I'll have to do that at some point. Maybe if I understood it better - even if I doubt there's a reason to really understand. [He just assumed it was his fate, he'd gotten past the point of asking why.]

Really? [Do everything. Well, she did have a point a very big one. He'd always wondered how humans did it, went through years of knowing they'd only cease to be in the end - no certainty of future, no warning other than the fact that they were alive.] Just -one- day? How do you do it?

[Then that was that, wasn't it? He'll reach out touching her arm.] I will do my best. Thank you. Really, this means and helps me so very much.

Sometimes, these things happen. And sometimes, they happen for a reason. Talk to Destiny. He'd love a chance to sit down and chat with someone. He's not nearly as intimidating as he appears. [She laughs a little at that.]

That's right! Just one day. I live one day as a mortal, and at the end of the day, I die. I do it,because we should all understand that we need to be compassionate. That we need to live our lives to the fullest, because one day, we'll be gone. One day, you'll be gone, and Eric, and then, at the very end, I'll be gone.

[She smiles, covering his hand with hers.] You can come to me for anything. And, probably more often then not, I'll come to you! I love doing things. This city is so vibrant, so alive... there's so much to do, here.

So he could tell me why? [Because he's always wondered why. He knew it wouldn't change anything but it would be comforting to have some kind of reason.] I'll certainly do that. Most of them aren't when you get to know them, it's just that initial approach.

That- that's true. [And just like this Didi's earned every bit of his respect because being able to do this.] I try to help people at the end, be friendly; make their last moments something they're not afraid of if I can. [He didn't want to think about that about his last breath, Eric's or anyone's in his little ragtag family. It sent a pang into his chest.]

You're not scared? I mean the end when everyone else is gone. There's not going to be anyone there with you to hold your hand or tell you you lived well. [He frowned at this slightly upset by that fact. It wasn't fair at all. That everyone else have someone there when their door to this life closes.

His breath catches just slightly at the flare up of distress but he'll close his eyes and take a deep breath to force it away.] I'll be coming to you often and you're more than welcome to come pick me up from Eric's.
You can teach me all about this living life to the fullest thing and I'll... I'll be here for you if you ever need it. [Because he wants to offer something, anything even if it's just a hand to hold and someone to sip tea with.]

He could, but honestly, he might not. He's such a stickler for things. Probably why he's the oldest out of all of us. [She nods.]

That's what I like to do, too. No one should be afraid. I know why they are, but... I like to think I'm kind of friendly. Sometimes. [She pauses, taking a sip of her coffee.]

I try not to be. I try to accept it, tell myself, this is how it is. And it is how it is, there's no changing it. But I've always been more of a hand holder then a hand holdee.

But I'd like that. Let's try and do something at least once a week together. And Eric can come too, if he ever wants to. I know he might not, but he is always welcome.

If he doesn't he doesn't. I'll never know til I try and it certainly can't hurt to ask.

[He sips at his tea nodding at that.] I figure of they're wanting to lighten their hearts and see me as some kind of friend there in their last moments. Well, I've got nothing against that.

That's really quite brave. I don't think I could do that. Not have someone there or die over and over...

That sounds like a good plan. It won't matter what it is, I don't really do much so any little thing will be completely new to me. [He pauses and smiles.] If he doesn't come that's his loss but if he does it'll be perfect.

Yup! It never hurts to ask.

[She nods.] I like being a friend. Someone to be with them, just to reassure them that it's all going to turn out okay.

Well... there is someone who's there with me! It's just me, but that's okay. And I always make a new friend, too. Last time I made a good friend, his name is Sexton, and we had such a nice adventure!

[She grins.] We'll have some good adventures, too. I have so many things to show you!

Well, that's good. You'll have to tell me about your adventures, the people you met - if you don't mind, if it's not too prying or personal. [He can't help it he just is that curious. Unknowingly, Didi has just made herself an example to Alan as to how to live and just be.] It sounds really interesting to live a life in just a single day.

[The grin is contagious as is her enthusiasm bringing a bright smile to his face and drawing out a happy laugh.] Wonderful. I don't think I've ever really had an actual adventure before. Most of mine are in-between pages and covers; I'm afraid I'm a bit of a bookish little homebody. I'll be more than happy to see anything, everything you have in mind.

It's not! Everyone thinks death is mysterious, but once you get to know me, I'm an open book. [Nods. She used to be more mysterious, and she still can be, to the right people. But she enjoys being open about things that make her happy.] It's always good fun. I met a nice guy on the Ganges river, and I helped him water his cattle! I just try to have as much fun as I can, before I can't have it anymore.

Books are nice, for a time. I love books! But sometimes you need to take a nice walk. Feed some birds. Go dip your feet in the ocean. We'll do all of those things!

But most people don't want to. They're afraid of you and us; all that death is. I have to admit even sometimes people from the other departments are afraid of me which all and all is sad because you shouldn't be afraid of what you don't understand but you are because you just don't know any better inside.

[But he smiles all the same leaning forward elbows on the arm of his chair turned towards her, pointing with a finger.]

I used to be like that bit I think you've changed my mind. I'm going to start living like you. Having fun, actually living rather than fantasizing. We'll start with those walks first and work up to bigger things, crawling before walking; baby steps before running.

I know. So many people are afraid of death, and in the past, they should have. But now... I like to think of it as everyone coming home.

[Smiles.] I like the sound of that! Just walking. We'll start someplace fun, though! Like the beach. It's so pretty this time of year.

That's the best way to see it. It makes it easier when you think of it that way.

The beach sounds good. Since we're already going to be there we might as well have a bit of fun - collect seashells. [He smiled looking almost boyish.]

I love seashells! I have a lot of friends, here, too, that love seashells. We could fill up buckets of them, and the ones we don't want to make special, we can do arts and crafts with them!

They're beautiful and interesting. [He smiles and nods.] I'd like that. It would be great. I've always liked handy little crafty things. Making things has always been a hobby of mine.

What kind of things have you made? [Asks curiously; she never really had time for crafts, but she'd always admired them, and those who did them.]

Most of my time is in the kitchen baking things - cookies & cakes. They're pretty much my only successes; unless flower arranging counts then again that isn't so difficult. I have done a bit of sewing and needle work and tried my hand at more things than I can count.

What about knitting? Oh! Or hat decorating! That could be fun. You could make a cool hat with birds in it. Or....pottery stuff? With all that clay, like the Romans and the Greeks used to do.

I haven't tried either of those. We should try together. We have to try all of the arts. Maybe we can find some really neat hidden talent we didn't know we had.

[Excited like a kid in a candy store..]

That would be great! We could make all sorts of things, and you know, you can decorate your house or apartment with all those things! I think this will be great. [She's so excited, too!]

Well it's Eric's house I just kind of live there.

[And he laughs nervously at that after all he already feels like he should give Eric his space back but he knows Eric too. Well enough to know that one way or another they'd end up just as they are under one roof.]

But I'd still like to do it anyway. He'd repaint the entire place if I said I wanted the walls purple with orange polka-dots.

You could always make little things and hide them around the house. So when he finds them, it's like finding little gifts from you!

That's cute. Actually, it's really sweet, I just might do that.

[He blushes a little bit reaching to adjust his glasses. Maybe he was a bit obvious.]

[Smiles.] Do you love him?

[He fidgeted slightly, a gloved hand coming to rest against his mouth. What could he say? What should he say? Then again this was Death and she was all but family to him. It would be fine to just admit it here with here right?

Right. Even if he'd never put it like that before - at least not consciously. When he speaks it's quiet, shy almost.]

Yes. And it's terrible and wonderful.

That's what love always is. Terrible and wonderful at the same time. I've fallen in love before, and it's so... frightening. But worth it. [She nods.] He seems to love you just as much.

Always? Well that is a bit comforting. [His interest sparks and he grins; he's like an eager child asking for a story.] Who was it? What were they like?

[His expression shifts from an eager grin back to a shy and uncertain smile a faint flush to his cheeks.] I know he cares for me dearly but I'm not so sure that it's that kind of care, Miss Didi. He feels responsible for me that's all.

Oh, it was so long ago... [She smiles.] Let's just go with it didn't end well. Nothing ever does, if one of the Endless falls in love with a mortal.

I'd be willing to bet on that one!

Oh. [And that smile falls to a frown, a hand reaching to touch her shoulder gently.] That must have been difficult for you.

[He draws his hand away giving a soft nervous laugh.] Bet? I don't know that I want to lose that bet even if there was a chance.

A little bit. But I have so much more to be happy about, then sad. [She smiles.]

It's a win win situation for you. If he doesn't, then I lose. But if he does, then you win.

Well it is more happy than sad. After all love is one of those wonderful things in life right?

[He runs a hand through his own hair and laughs softly. I guess you're right.

I like happy endings, don't you? [She beams.]

I do. I'm a bit of a sap like that.

That's not a bad thing. Sap can be really sweet!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Everything falling down around me...

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

I'm so sorry this is late, if you don't want to continue I understand!

Don't worry we can keep this up all you want <3

<333

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject