sirenspull_logs | Canon Update Klaine

Entry tags:

Canon Update Klaine

Who: Blaine and Kurt
When: Tuesday
Where: Starts in the baseball field, probably will move to the apartment.
Summary: The boys return from a horrible canon update.
Warnings: Brief, fleeting mention of drug use. Vomiting. Angst.

Blaine wobbled a bit on his feet when he appeared back in the baseball field. He had been back in Ohio, getting home from Glee, heart heavy with the disappointment and shame of the day. Finn had been there too, sitting in the choir room, had asked a question Blaine still didn't know the answer to. Why? Before he could really talk to the other boy though, the room was crowded and the excitement of the others had taken over. They had chosen to put on Grease as their show and for the first time, Blaine didn't feel excited over the possibility of the musical. He just found himself wanting to go home. Go home so that he could be totally alone. No Skype dates to look forward too now, nothing except his quiet room.

When he blinked against the sunlight, he wasn't in his room, he was outside in a baseball field. The memories were just there for him, settling into his mind as if they had never, ever left. The same with the ring on his finger. It still gleamed and shined as brilliant as the promise that had prompted it to settle there in the first place.

Blaine stumbled forward as he remembered dying, coming back, losing Kurt, getting back with him, the drugs...

He bent over, retching, and vomited on the grass. The Pull had always been disorienting and nauseating, but these memories over powered him, made him feel sick, even more when they mixed and mingled with the ones he had just earned back home.

Why? Why? Why?

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Blaine checked on Tim's room, mostly to make sure that all of Tim's things were there, but he couldn't see anyone around. They were probably at work or doing things they normally did. The two of them had only been gone for a couple of days after all. There were even still leftovers of the roast in the fridge.

Blaine pulled away to go to their bathroom. The sight of their tooth brushes together made him want to cry, but he blinked away the urge in favor of getting the acid aftertaste of his sick out of his mouth. Once he was clean he moved to find Kurt again.

He had to steel himself, getting ready to ask the question that had haunted him since the night they spent in New York.

"Are we broken up?"

As usual, Blaine brought Kurt's defenses crashing down. Something went numb in his ears--and the careful way he'd been carrying himself broke apart, like a cut thread. He carefully set down a dish he'd been scrubbing, staring down into the sink at the running water, blinking only when his eyes were dry and watering.

He didn't say anything. He just turned around, walked over to Blaine, and stood in front of him. Then--quickly, sharply--he lifted one hand and slapped the other boy across the face.

The sound echoed through the empty kitchen, and Kurt let his hand fall. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he finally spoke.

"There. It's done. Just forget about it. I don't want to hear about it anymore."

And that was that.

Of all the things Blaine thought Kurt would do, that wasn't one of them. It shocked him down to his core, pushing him out of his state of shock. His cheek stung and he kept his face turned from Kurt, stuck in the position it was forced into by the force of the hit.

Tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn't let him show. The shock, the effort it took to control his emotions, and the fact that he was so out of practice controlling him made the room shake for a moment.

He balled his fists, regaining control.

Kurt swallowed his tears, turned away and headed back toward the sink. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he turned off the faucet and starting stacking dishes.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked, keeping his voice steady.

Blaine calmed himself by focusing on his breathing and watched Kurt's back. "I don't care," he said after a moment. "Whatever you want to make..." He trailed off, uncertain. His cheek still stung.

"Does that mean that we're not broken up?"

"We're not," said Kurt as he began taking out ingredients for pasta. "But I'd appreciate it if you'd stop acting like a wibbling mess. I'm not dealing with this crap anymore, Blaine."

He filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. "We're bigger than this, we're better than this. And Blaine, I've been blackmailed, I've been jailed, I've been tortured--"

Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke, and his hands shook harder. "And this is nothing. Forget it. It's over and done and I wish you'd just go into another room for a while because I don't want to see your face right now. I'll call you when dinner's ready."

Blaine nodded, accepting this. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, because that gave them both space and would help him feel less dirty.

He still felt empty, but Kurt was right. It wasn't his place to be broken. He needed to be whatever Kurt needed him to be.

Kurt spent the time alone in the kitchen letting all his tears fall. Once the pasta was draining and the sauce was done, he'd drained himself of every last tear he had, and he felt better for it.

Deep breaths. You can deal with this, Kurt Hummel. You've been through so much. This is nothing.

He'd prepared a plate for Blaine and then started serving himself, and exhaled slowly. His stomach was clenching up again, just as it had after the hunt--and he squeezed his eyes shit. No. Nononono. You've made so much progress this is not stopping you. No.

Edited 2012-10-17 05:43 (UTC)

Blaine spent most of his time in the shower with his head bowed, the water pouring over his shoulders and back. He forced himself not to cry, to practice being okay. He had managed it back home at school, but now that he had the Port back all he could think about was how stupid he had been. He and Kurt had been through so much, how could he ever want to be with someone else?

He turned off the shower after a while and wrapped a towel around his waist to work on containing his hair.

"Dinner's ready," Kurt said at last.

He managed to pile food on his plate but he couldn't think about eating it. Instead he just put their food on the table and sat down and just coached himself.

This was not going to impede his progress it was not it was not--

"It's just spaghetti. It's simple but it'll do, right?"

Blaine put on some clothes and came out to sit with him. He didn't really feel much like eating either. He stared at the plate after he sat down, jaw tight.

After a while he sighed and pushed forward to pick up his fork. "I should probably track down Tim. After Connor, this was not a good time for us to leave him. I hope he's okay."

Talking about Tim was easier than talking about them.

"Might as well," said Kurt lightly, sitting stiffly at his chair. He looked over at Blaine and sighed.

"Please eat," he said softly. "You're making it hard for me."

Blaine nodded and started to eat with one hand as he used his NV with the other. With his attention taken by the device, eating was easier to do. He didn't have to think too much about anything.

He did look up at Kurt after taking a bite though. "This is good. Thank you," he said softly before looking back down at the NV.

"You're welcome," said Kurt, and fell silent. He spent a few moments just sitting there, his eyes moving from his own plate to Blaine's, watching his boyfriend eat. Sighing, he took his fork in hand and prodded at his noodles, but couldn't find it in him to eat any.

He gave up. "Want to take a nap?" he whispered once Blaine had eaten most of his food.

Blaine frowned as he looked at Kurt's plate. "You're not going to eat?" he asked. They had been struggling with that, hadn't they? In this world, where cheating would never cross his mind and they had already dealt with so much. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Blaine," said Kurt in a small voice. "Don't pressure me. Please. Let's just lie down, okay?"

"Both of us?" Blaine asked as he thought about the last time they had been together in a bed the night after he had told Kurt what he had done. It had been awkward and miserable and it felt like it had been only a couple days ago.

It had been, just in another world and a different life.

"Whenever you're done," said Kurt. He moved his dishes to the counter and left them there, then moved into the bedroom. Once inside he drew the shades and curled up on the bed, willing his stomach to stop churning.

He thought about the last few days. It was strange, the way his pain had changed-- It had been so acute, so powerful and crippling, and then it had found itself buried under thick layers created by all his time spent in the Port. It didn't seem to matter, not after Yaha, the Shadow, Blaine's addiction, the Hunt-- It was this insignificant, petty little thing, and Kurt was more angry at Blaine for acknowledging it at all than the fact that he'd done it.

Back home, they'd been children. Even on his own, living in New York with a promising career ahead of him--he was still more a child than he could ever hope to be in the Port. This place had aged his soul, and now nothing else seemed to scare or hurt him anymore.

That was probably the worst thing about all of this.

Blaine cleaned up and replied to some people on his NV before he went into the room. He was thinking much the same as Kurt. He had been spending all of this time wasting his energy wishing he could go back home to be a kid again.

Being a kid was stupid, he was stupid. So very, very stupid that a few weeks of loneliness would drive him to do something so incredibly selfish. A part of him worried that he'd always been selfish, that he was always going to end hurting Kurt in some way.

When he got into the room he wasn't sure if Kurt was asleep. He moved to the bed and thought about taking his pillow to the couch.

Kurt lay with his back to Blaine for a while, just breathing, then slowly rolled onto his side. He edged closer to Blaine, moving into the other boy's arms.

Blaine was quiet as he put his arm around Kurt. It felt so good to have him there and a little bit of the weight that had been pressing down onto his chest lifted, just a bit.

"I'm... so stupid," he said after a moment, and he didn't mean just the cheating, he meant everything. "I wanted to go back there so badly, to be that person again... I don't want that anymore."

"I don't want to talk about it," said Kurt in a croaky voice, burying his face in Blaine's shirt. He thought Blaine was going to start talking about what had happened, because Blaine wanted to talk about everything.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," he muttered. "But you did deserve it."

"I know I did," Blaine agreed. "And I don't mean that. I'm talking about here. In this place. I've been so stupid."

"I don't know what you mean."

Kurt looked up, finding Blaine's eyes, concerned.

"Do you remember when you wanted us to move in together again?" Blaine asked. "How hesitant I was?"

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